There are things we can't explain. I have always fully accepted the mystery of life.  Keeps things from getting boring, right?  But more so it encompasses the spiritual part of life.  We want to understand everything...to a point. If everything was fully understood the mystery would be gone and so would the magic. 

My last post was about Herd and making a connection with Luna.  Since I began working on this relationship with her I've also been seeing blog posts and things from other horse people, mainly trainers. They all like to down play the "love" part of having a horse, which is ironic when compared to dogs.  People openly love their dogs, they tell others and write stories and make movies about it.  It's so obvious that there is an emotional connection between many dogs and their owners. Have you ever seen a movie or read a story about a dog that sits by the grave of their owner if they die first?

According to popular tradition, horses apparently don't have this capacity.  Even the more open bloggers and some trainers are reluctant to say that horses do things out of love.  It is important to separate training principles from emotional connections, but once established, it's difficult to separate the two. 

Just as in relationships we have with people are often those of connection and love, this doesn't mean they will do everything we ask of them. If there is mutual trust, then it's easy to ask things of the other person.  As with animals, if there isn't trust in the relationship then there will be problems with the training.  

How do you build trust?  Consistency. Patience, calmness. As Neil Davies says, "never scare your horse".  If you take nothing else from him I think that's a huge takeaway because much of "traditional" training involves purposely scaring horses.  "Desensitization" is purposeful scaring of the animal until it accepts the thing it's afraid of, which is called "learned helplessness".  I once was trying to get a yearling to accept a horse blanket and she was terrified.  I kept holding it up to her back and she'd run in a circle, snorting and pawing at it, sweating.  We were getting nowhere after a good 20 minutes of this.  It wasn't working and both myself and the horse ended up frustrated.  This was an "Ah Ha!" moment for me, a moment when I really saw that this method was not only NOT working, it was making things worse!   

If you are the cause of fear, you are always holding the scary thing and forcing it on them you become the source of the fear. It's you demanding that they accept it, not that it happens to be in the environment and you're walking by. 

Trust builds connection, spending time builds connection, taking time to groom or scratch or do whatever your horse enjoys doing builds connection.  Even if you're a terrible rider, or you know nothing, or you think you're a bad horseperson, you can still have trust and connection. A lady I once gave lessons to really had a strong connection to her horse.  I would do training rides on the horse and set boundaries and things that she wasn't doing as a rider, but that horse did not care how well it was being ridden.  When the woman arrived at the barn I knew immediately because her horse would stop to watch her walk all the way from her car to the arena.  He loved her. 

I know that horses can and do love their people and vice versa.  Not to acknowledge that is to ignore the beauty and richness of why we ride and why we love horses.  Can I explain it? No.  Do I think my horse does things for me because he or she loves me?  Sometimes, yes. Do horses refuse to do things we ask and still love us?  I think so.  Do I do things because I love my horse?  Yes, everything I do is for love.  I can't tell you why I was born loving horses.  There are many of us that feel the same and have always felt that way.  It's immediate and so deep that it was never a question. 

There is so much out there about training, and very little about the connection.  I am just recently discovering those people who train with joy and positivism.  I'm excited for the future for once!  

http://www.herdfilm.com/

Herd is a short movie that is coming out this year.  I think it's only 30 minutes long.  If you go to the website there is a ten minute short you can watch.  Basically the film is about a place where you can go on a "spiritual horse retreat" in British Columbia.  The couple who run it call it "Equinisity".  I don't remember how I came across this, but when I first watched the movie I thought it was kinda silly.  

It starts with Liz Mitten Ryan, the owner of the place, talking about moving to this property and living in tent while the house was being built.  Her horses were there, too, so she ended up spending a lot of time hanging out with them and discovering their spirituality for herself.  She decided to create a retreat out of the situation, which is rather brilliant in my mind.  People pay a lot of money to come stay there and literally sit with the horses. There is some light ground work/liberty and leading that they do.  Otherwise you see people sitting in the barn meditating while the horses sleep or hang out.

It's a bit uncomfortable to watch at first.  If you are a traditional kind of horse person this is what we would call "wasting time".  This is what I did as a child because I wasn't allowed to actually get into the pen with the horses, so I'd sit on the fence for hours, hoping they'd come close and hang out for awhile.  Then there was sitting on the top fence rail, leaning over to grab the horses by the neck and try to pull them closer.  

I couldn't stop watching the movie, though, and I began to realize that I'd lost that excitement I felt as a child.  My husband tells me that I still show it, but I'm not mentally aware like I was as a child. I always come back happy from seeing my horses, but I have forgotten to enjoy being with them.  Smelling them, listening to them breathe or just having some kind of contact is never anything I do anymore.  It takes time to get to the barn, I have three horses to groom and work with.  I can rarely do three in one day, so I feel this pressure to accomplish something.  

I have become all about results and "what have I done today" that I've lost something else.  How many trainers, all these people making youtube videos and CD's and everything else ever talk about connection?  They do talk about it, but it's always gained through DOING: doing some kind of exercise. Yes, doing exercises is good don't get me wrong.  I have forgotten to BE, however.  To be present!  

When I got my first horse Bella, every minute with her was exciting.  Just going out there and seeing MY horse and doing whatever I wanted with her was pure joy.  I spent time just stroking her, talking to her, brushing her beautiful mane. My training time had no limits, no certain goals.  I had no real idea what to do, I just went out there and did.  It was from the heart and pure.  I made mistakes.

 Once I began to learn about horse training (and not just riding as I had before), things changed.  My thoughts changed, my attitude changed.  I had to be dominant and take charge.  I was "too nice".  Yet here I am, finding kinship with Neil Davies because what he is doing is so much like what I did with Bella.  It was just natural - when she was afraid I was tuned in and I knew her so well I could calm her quickly by letting her hug me.  He pats on the head, Bella and I hugged.  I really don't care if anyone thinks "that's not a good thing" or that you should never allow that.  Bullshit. It was our connection. That's what made her a great partner. Once I began to use traditional techniques, the trust eroded.

All of these things passed through my thoughts after watching this short film.  How the very thing I'd always craved and wanted I'd lost!  I'd lost it in the practice of training.  I felt immediately sad, and then hopeful.  Suddenly the way forward with Luna was clear.  I need to be there with her, as often as I can.  I can also say, with all honesty, that my only reason to love horses and have them in my life was the connection.  I never meant to win ribbons, or compete.  I just wanted to be the best rider possible and to have my own horse(s). Those were my true goals, and they still are to this day.  

So, continuing from my previous post, I did try out Neil Davies method early last fall. The things I look for are: 1. Is it easy? 2. Is it effective?  3. How does it affect my horse's attitude to training?

So allow me to clarify.  If the method is too difficult to do, then it's not going to work for me, and maybe not other people. If it doesn't do what it's supposed to do, then there's no point in continuing, right?  If it pisses off your horse, or creates more fear, it is also not a good method in my mind. If you go to train your horse the next day and they won't come up to you, then it isn't a positive experience for them. 

My first lessons in horse training were of the standard variety "let them know who's in charge, get an immediate response, keep increasing the pressure and use as much "pressure" as needed to get a response" type of training.  This is very old school and still very prevalent. If you are a trainer or have horses you know that this is the standard way of training.  Most horse training marketed is this method.  These trainers frown on giving treats, being overly patient or using too much kindness.  Even Natural Horsemanship really is not much different.  I watched a few videos by various trainers of this ilk showing how you could get a horse to come to you by using the "join up" method (round penning).  Yes, after you chase them for 20 minutes they will come to you.  It seems magical at first, but it really is not.  This does not create more trust, doesn't make a horse easier to catch in the pasture, and if done incorrectly it can cause them to have more fear of you! 

Then I watched a girl train her horse to come to her in the pasture (it was notoriously afraid of being caught in a pasture but no where else) and after a few sessions it comes up to her easily.  I give my horses treats and scratches whenever I go in their pen and they crowd around me when I go in.  They are eager to be around me.  It's a good place to be.  What I noticed in going back to watch the join-up videos was that the horses were not actually that happy to be around the trainer.  Food for thought. 

Earlier in my evolution in training I went to see Clinton Anderson. At the time I really liked him and thought he was wonderful!  I bought a video and the stick and all that.  I tried the ground work at home and quite frankly, it pissed off my horses and wound them up.  I'm sure there are people who would say that I'm not doing it correctly. Perhaps.  There are always differences in style and application. This is why learning horse training from a video is extremely difficult, unless it's easy to implement like my rule #1. In any case, back to the Clinton way.  I found his methods needlessly harsh and kind of difficult to implement.  My gelding Snickers became very adversarial and unwilling to do anything.  He has never really learned to lunge, so I started there.  He got violent and pulled away over and over, jerking the line out of my hand every time I got more aggressive.  He is an older horse, full grown and strong so he had no problem making a fool out of me.  Angel, my other horse, also older, gave me the look of death when I tap-tap-tapped her with my stick and then whacked her because she didn't move.  It made me feel bad and I just stopped. It wasn't that effective and made things more difficult. To me this style of training is more like boot camp in the Marines.  It's aggressive and only fosters instant obedience, not real trust or understanding. 

From Clinton I went to clicker training, which I think I've covered on here.  It's fairly easy to learn from the book or videos, although somewhat tedious in the end to fully utilize. However, the horses LOVE it!  They would be standing at the gate waiting for me every time I went to train them.  I still use it and it is a very safe and effective way to train and communicate with them.  The downside is that how you go about training something is quite different than what I've learned previously since timing and giving treats is involved.  I inadvertently taught Snickers to trot forward 7 steps and stop dead instead of just trot forward until I asked him to stop.  He is very smart...!  And I guess I am not. 

So, with that short history on to Neil Davies.  Snickers has always been a domineering and distracted guy because of his early non-training by previous owner.  He is generally a good horse with some rough edges.  Leading him around the barn can be problematic, though, because he's not focused on me.  So I started with leading - and when he started mentally wandering I jiggled the halter until he came back to me.  I paused a few times and rubbed his head and other places he likes.  It worked like a charm and instantly!  No fighting, no expectation of treats, just calm walking forward. 

Next I rode him and he was pretty rusty. Again, kept him focused on ME, asked consistently for him to maintain speed, and direction. He came around well.  Next I rode him down the road towards the dreaded turkey house (they keep turkeys in a pen by the road). NO STOPPING!  I had to keep asking, but didn't get desperate ("Do it now"), just kept asking until he responded and then stopped giving the cue. Wonderful!

Next I started working on Luna.  I haven't mentioned this yet, but one thing Davies says is that when you tie your horse or whatever you do with them, they should stay where you put them and not move around.  If they do, keep asking them to go back to the original spot.  I have done this with all three of my horses.  The first time is hellish and kinda frustrating.  I think I re-positioned Angel about 23 times!  But the next time I got her out, she got into place and stood. Which is gratifying! 

Back to Luna.  Poor Luna has gotten the shaft for too long.  If I have on regret in life it's not spending more time with her.  I've tried to get her going many times, and here she is...an older mare that has only 10 rides on her.  The thing is, she's not calm and relaxed.  Leading her is, well, a pain in the butt. She's afraid of everything and is not focused on me.  Jiggling the halter doesn't work as well with her.  She doesn't like having her head rubbed, either. She's not safe and not trained, period.  

So I began talking her for walks.  I'd get her so far, until she got scared, and tried to rub her head and she'd toss my hand off, push into me and run in circles.  I was frustrated and disappointed, but it was my own fault.  I did this a few times and finally just took her 10 yards from her pen and kept rubbing her where ever it felt good - her rump, under her neck, withers, etc. She began to calm down some.  I went further the next day, but it was still a fight. 

I didn't feel like this was working too well, so I took her to the round pen where we've previously done the most positive work.  She was excited, it was windy, so I free lunged her.  She'd come in to me and I just rubbed her until she relaxed. Then I'd send her out again.  This isn't strictly in following what Davies does and doesn't do.  He never uses a round pen or free lunges a horse. He says you can't wear them out, that they should be calm first.  However, in my experience they are like little kids in that sometimes they are wound up and the best thing is some exercise. This where I disagree with some of the things Davies says. Also, it seems as if the bulk of his training is done with young, untouched horses which allows one to use a more consistent routine since they are blank slates. 

Allow me to explain my reasoning for going off "method".  In keeping with Davies principles, the first thing to do is get them relaxed, but this is no yearling foal.  Luna has also had some previous training and just walking around was taking her out of the routine.  So I decided to return to the routine and keep to it until she can is no longer excited or afraid.  She calms down much faster this way and even started to "hug" the way Bella used to. Previously her hugs were me with my arms around her neck while she bounced her head off my shoulder. Now she wraps her head over my shoulder gently.  The next step is to then go on some more walks in between the round pen sessions. The idea is to start from a safe, comfortable place for her and build on that. 

So I'd have to say that I have a challenging horse due to my own actions and not because of any particular training method.  She likes the clicker and I used it to get her to hold her head still when I rub it.  Not sure if she likes her head rubbed, though.  Time will tell!  Using any kind of training is going to take more time and patience because of what hasn't been done. One thing that many many trainers say is that every horse is different and may need vastly different handling.  So much depends on their history, your skills and situation.  

In a perfect world you read the training book, get an untouched horse and apply the training, but that isn't always possible.  I've realized that I've lost my connection to Luna, that she is afraid because I've neglected her.  I take full responsibility for that! What got me inspired to find that connection again was a trailer for the movie Herd.  Not "the" herd (that's about something ELSE!) But I'll talk about that tomorrow...