After finishing Carolyn Resnick's book Naked Liberty, which I naively bashed and then apologized for, I wanted to write more in depth about what is wonderful about her methods. I've read so many books, watched countless DVD's and tv programs and attended clinics that the rhetoric gets old. There are many trainers, especially western trainers, that sell themselves and make people think they have some special new method.  My first disillusionment was discovering that many of them used the same groundwork exercises that have been used for years and weren't new or unique to that trainer.

It all gets overwhelming, discouraging and confusing.  I want to do what is right by the horse and myself.  Is there a way to work with horses to create a symbiotic relationship that we BOTH enjoy?  How does one create this relationship with the necessary boundaries that protect both the horse and the person and build respect and trust?  I believe there is and Resnick has found it.

This very long introduction is necessary to fully understand why this book is so very helpful.  You see, it fit in perfectly with everything I felt to be true up to now.  It includes ways to empower the horse without giving up boundaries or being too aggressive. My other favorite training book Empowered Horses by Imke Spilker gives great arguments for having an empowered horse but doesn't give you a way to start.  I did write to her and ask if there were suggestions to get started, but she said this was also empowerment for me.  All well and good, but I was lost more than empowered.  I guess one can have too much empowerment...

Resnick, on the other hand, has a way to start the conversation with the horse, and that's what Spilker missed. The basis for Resnick's method is "magnetism" which is the connection between the person and horse where the horse wants to be with you.  In other words, you don't go out and capture your horse and halter it, it comes to you and puts it's head in the halter because it wants to (Read the book for further instructions).

How many times have you heard how some or other trainer "speaks the language of the horse"?  What is that, exactly? I used to think it was "round-penning" the horse which I thought created that magical connection, but it doesn't. It never did what I thought it would do, which is create a strong bond with the horse where it would want to be with me, work with me, etc. In fact, the round penning technique only seems to temporarily connect the horse to you.  I was always disappointed in how I would round pen the horse and get it to "latch on", and then that would be the end of it; clearly it didn't create a long-lasting connection.  Other trainers begin and end with this lesson on "horse language".  They never mention any other aspect of how horses interact or communicate.  

Resnick goes beyond the usual propaganda about the "language of the horse" to reveal a much wider, richer world of horse communication. She describes the language of horses in terms of pecking order.  We all know about it, we all see it, but we never talk about it. It makes so much sense to me that the horse's "language" is related to this and that it all leads to a stronger herd.  The goal of horses is to become a cohesive group, a herd, that can ward off predators because of the cumulative strength of the individuals.  

How many times have you watched a video or gone to a clinic and heard about how horses are "prey animals" and we are "predators" and therefore are afraid of us? It makes sense to a point, but then again, why do they come to trust us at all?  It seems obvious to me that the predator angle loses its value at some point.  Once the horse figures out we aren't there to kill it, then something else entirely is happening.  We are either friend or foe, and they know we aren't exactly the foe, but we don't always act as a trusted friend either. 

Resnick goes further and deeper into the workings of a horse herd to explain how horses communicate and form bonds - not in a nebulous, spiritual vague way, but a scientific way.  Knowing how they form bonds allows us in on the process.  It allows us a way into the horse's world that no other trainer seems to have discovered.  Spilker and perhaps Klaus Ferdinand Hempfling have insight but they don't explain it very well - perhaps they don't understand it this way. Knowing this mechanism allows us the opportunity to form the same kind of bond.  

While the book gives a few concrete steps she doesn't outline her entire process, which actually is good.  When the plan is too rigid then people feel that they must do things this way.  I agree with Spilker that we need to feel empowered too, and Resnick says this at the start of her book. Most of all, I found her methods and suggestions realistic and doable for most horse owners.  If you have any interest in horses, training or horsemanship, I highly suggest reading Naked Liberty. 

The last post I published was to state my disillusionment in the book Naked Liberty by Carolyn Resnick.  I had not yet read it, and based on things posted by others on the web I didn't think I wanted to.  I was, however, WRONG. I hereby apologize to Carolyn Resnick for my short-sightedness.  It is, however, the result of today's horse training market being flooded with all kinds of information both good and bad. It has made me increasingly skeptical! (I have removed the post I am referring to here - no point in leaving it up if it's not true!)

It's clear to me now that the review I read (that made me not want to read the book) was written by someone who either didn't understand or who didn't read the entire book.  As I said in my post, I really shouldn't have passed judgment until I'd read the whole thing. I have now read it and was pleasantly surprised.  I mentioned in the last post about how I constantly look for the book, the method... this book was very close!

Naked Liberty is about Resnick's early experiences with her own horses and culminates in her study of wild horses.  The premise to me, from reading the jacket, was bordering on hokey.  After all, Monty Roberts claims to have studied wild horses too... in an oddly familiar sounding account in many ways to Resnick's.  (I suspect he borrowed aspects of her account for his own.) However, I found Resnick's writing easy to read, interesting and humble.  She gave herself a pat on the back when deserved and also admitted to fault when she made a mistake. The book is largely anecdotal and experiential, including three summers observing and finally being accepted by a band of wild horses.

With everyone and their brother claiming to "speak the language of horses" and to use "natural horsemanship", whatever THAT means, I avoid trainers who make these claims anymore. I have also tried to read Linda Kohanov and others of that ilk, which were too complicated and so very self-important. So please forgive my initial skepticism. Many horse folk are egotistical and trying to sell their own brand of training methods, which are really nothing new when you come right down to it. 

Again, I will say it, I was WRONG about this book! Resnick has a very grounded spiritual quality that blends well with a scientist's curiosity and attention to detail that encourages experimentation. The result is a way of understanding horses that includes friendship and connection as well as setting boundaries and shaping behavior.  She was neither too tough or too soft with her training methods. None of us want to be accused of being too "touchy-feely", nor do we want to be seen as demanding and rough. There are few trainers/authors who walk the line so well as Carolyn Resnick.  

More to follow on the finer points of her method - until then, check out her blog which is very enlightening:

Carolyn Resnick Blog

Selling Out

I believe that all situations provide a chance to learn, either about ourselves or our horses.  Yesterday I learned a lot. Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I sold one of my horses.  Prior to this I had only returned one to the BLM and had to put down my old horse which is to be expected.

I never thought I'd have the courage to sell a horse.  It's only something I would do in an extreme situation, I thought.  I truly love all my horses, including Tequila, the horse I sold. If you follow this blog you know that she was up for sale and probably read about her.  I have had her for ten years, how could I let her go?

Here it is: one thing this taught me was that even with the best of intentions we get caught up in our ego and pride often takes over.  I constantly told myself that I needed to finish her training, get her going, etc. But things kept interfering.  We were both caught in circumstances not of our choosing.  Tequila never got the time from me she deserved.  I felt guilty, which brought a sense of urgency to the training.  "I need to get this done!  I have to ride her NOW".  It's difficult to have patience under those conditions - I gave myself too much pressure. Then  I put it on her - she  had to perform well for me.  When she didn't, when she got nervous I got frustrated.  It only made things worse. 

When we moved out of our house in Rifle, losing our pasture and facing the fact of having to board five horses, we took an honest look at them.  I knew that the broke horses would sell more quickly and so I bravely suggested selling Angel and Snickers.  My husband kept silent, for many weeks.  Finally he said, "I think we should sell Tequila." At first I thought "NO! She isn't finished!" Then I really thought about it.  We both really enjoy our other horses.  In spite of their beginnings, Angel and Snickers fit us and our lifestyle. They are easy and a pleasure to work with.  Since my new job will take a lot of time, I know that I can be productive with them in the short time I will have with them this summer.  I can also make time for Luna, who really needs me.

So, with a clear conscience we put Tequila up for sale.  It wasn't that easy, though.  It's hard to let go of something that you have worked on for so long.  Yet it is also letting go of a burden that you have had for too long.  She always hung over my head and all this time I felt guilty.  It actually feels good to turn her over to someone else.  

Here is what happened yesterday.  A young couple showed up to look at her and since she was to be the husband's horse, he took the lead.  He started trying to bond with her right away.  He spent a good two and a half hours with her, riding her in the round pen and out and about.  At one point he fell off because the saddle slipped and she freaked out.  He had patience though and as I watched them together I saw that she was wanting to trust him but really tested him too.   At one point I tried to step in and help him with her and Tequila gave me this look that said "Butt out, Mom.  This is my thing."  

Doug having a talk with Tequila

So I stepped way back and watched someone else take over.  I saw his patience, I saw how she tried things and when they were ignored or caused no reaction she relaxed.  His confidence gave her strength and although she acted really badly yesterday I think it made him want to take her and work with her.  They knew that they were buying a cheap horse and why she was cheap and accepted that. 

In the end I was so pleased with everything.  She found the right home and I felt good about letting someone else take over.  As I made the long drive back to Grand Junction, I realized that the guilt was gone.  Tequila had let me know she agreed with the situation, too.  Everything is right and never in a million years did I think it would turn out this way.  

The Thinking Horse Trainer 


After my earlier experiments in empowered stuff (training doesn't seem the right word),  the weather turned for the past month.  The few bright spots I spent cleaning manure with a horse day here and there.  Today is a brilliantly sunny and perfectly warm day, not too hot nor cold nor windy.  I went out and started mucking since this really needs to be done badly.  At least I think so, but the horses spend a lot of time standing on the pile where I dump the manure...

Love at the manure pile

Sleeping on the manure pile

Rolling and sleeping on the manure pile.
Why do I bother cleaning the pens? 

The horses all approached me, except Bella, one by one and in their own time.  They checked to see what I was doing, if I were giving out treats (they are polite when they ask - a sniff of pockets and hands is all) and then moved on.  Luna, however, kept coming back for scratching and attention.  Snickers kept coming back hoping for something to happen, I think.   He is so curious about what's going on, as if he might be missing something.

This is Snicker's favorite place to hang out and see what's going on

I like that they approach me and yet have this politeness too. That's new - Snickers used to push me and bite at my pockets.   He is giving me more respect now and I give him the same.  It feels almost magical how things changed from just a few encounters, how they know.  Everything in the Empowered Horses book is happening.  I see a new direction and a much easier one, too.  It happens first in your mind and intention and is translated somehow to them.  

If anyone is reading this, all I can tell you is to follow your heart and treat your horse like you would treat your best friend - literally.

So far I've shared with you why I have started working (or not working) in a way that empowers the horses.  I'd like to take a moment to take stock and give some suggestions if you want to try it yourself.  After reading Empowered Horses by Imke Spilker, I felt kind of lost as to what to do next.  She suggested to me that this was OK, and that feeling empty because all of your former tools have been removed is good.  In other words, erase your mind of everything you knew before and approach the horses with a mindset of openness and wanting to communicate.  Ask them questions.  Ask yourself questions.  Give the horse a chance to give you feedback.  Observe, don't be so controlling, be gentle.  See what happens when you act this way. 


First of all, you really have nothing to lose by trying this.  Remember that your horse doesn't know if you are doing the "Parelli method" or "natural horsemanship".  Basically, all they know is that you are interacting with them.  It's probably best to give it a few sessions though so that you can see what happens.  It takes time for the horses to realize that something very basic has changed.  If you don't like it or it isn't working for you, going back is always an option. 


Here is what I would suggest if you want to try working with your horses in an empowered way.  It's also kind of counter-productive to give you a formula.  What I will do is give you a place to start.  What you do with it is up to you, because you are empowered just like the horse.  


Empowerment is about two-way communication and allowing the horse to have a voice.  It also involves being aware of what's happening.  Here's what some of your first sessions might look like:


- Spend time just hanging out with your horse, finding out where they like to be scratched, or just being together.  


- Do a grooming session (put away your phone and all distractions) where you focus on the horse completely.  How are you brushing them?  Are they relaxed, do they like what you're doing?  Think about how you would like to have your hair brushed.


- Go for a walk with your horse.  Walk in rhythm with them.  This creates synchronicity which horses tune in to and like.  Think of driving teams and how they move in sync.  Walk around the pasture and let them choose where to go.


While you are around your horse, think of games that they might like.  So far, games have been a difficulty for me.  My horses are mainly older and not as playful as they once were, which doesn't help.  So if anyone has suggestions for games I'd love to hear them!  


Also, after your sessions, review what happened and what didn't.  Watch what happens in the next session.  Is your horse acting any differently?  Is he reacting to you differently?   Any experiences you would like to share, I'd love to hear about them. I think you'll be surprised at the results - good luck!

The "gang" having a winter picnic

Angel, Tequila and Bella in summer (I'm tired of looking at brown landscapes!)

Last week when the weather was good I worked with Snickers, Luna and Tequila.  I spent a good amount of time with Tequila and felt like we had a good session.  


The next day I planned to work with Angel and Bella.  All the horses were in the yard, where I normally groom them, so when I appeared with my grooming kit at the tie place, the horses started to gather around.  Snicker stopped by and when I just brushed him, he left.  Then Luna stopped for a quick brush but was chased away by Tequila.  I worked on Tequila for a few minutes and then Angel showed up.  I stopped brushing Tequila and caught Angel, since she was the one I wanted.  


Little did I realize that I must have hurt Tequila's feelings.  That night and for two days afterwards, she refused to hug me.  This has been our special ritual whenever I feed her.  She always gives me some kind of hug by wrapping her head around my shoulders and squeezing.  Some are better than others, but never has she stopped hugging for so long.  

It really blew me away and at first I was at a loss as to why this had happened. Then I remembered that it had started after the grooming thing. It proves to me that horses have much better memory than we give them credit for and that they get their feelings hurt.  I have sensed this before, but this entire incident proved it beyond a doubt to me. 


Today I braved the wind (I really hate working in the wind) and worked with Tequila.  I groomed her and then lunged her for a bit.  And tonight when I fed her, I got a big, heartfelt hug! 

Yesterday I decided to work with some of the horses and chose Snickers first.  Or, I should say that Snickers was the first one to approach me.  Ever since I started clicker training him, he views of training have changed completely. He loves it!

Snickers in summer

So first I tried to get him to cross a ditch.  He's the only one who won't jump the irrigation ditch, so we worked on that for awhile.  Then I began to groom him without being tied. He stood in one place nicely, but spent the entire session looking for me to give him a treat.  He fidgeted (but didn't move his feet).  I was concentrating on being present with him, but for the first time I realized that he doesn't seem to enjoy grooming.  


This intrigued me.  Was it because no one really spent time grooming him before we got him?  Did he just not like it?  Was he so used to people not being tuned in to him in general that he'd given up, or was his personality such that he needed something to keep him occupied at all times?  


The answer didn't come to me that day, so I will be watching to see if I can figure this out.  I also spent time with Tequila, who seemed to be anxious to work.  I walked both horses down the road a ways to get them off the property and do something different.  She was really good - moved forward easily while Snickers kept stopping and hesitated a lot, although he had been down that road more often than Tequila (she's only been down there once).  Maybe that's just the difference between mares and geldings. 

Tequila

In any case, my "work" is still focused on spending "quality time" with the horses - being present with them, focusing completely on them and nothing else. We do a little bit of lunging for collection, maybe five minutes. Still, what strikes me most was that somehow the horses know that things have changed.  How do I know that they know?  It's a few little things, like being less reactive to me.  It's not that they are disrespectful, it's more that they are calmer and they know we aren't on the former program anymore.  


It just proves to me that everything Imke Spilker said was true.  The most important thing in working with horses is your intention, your dedication to the moment and communication.  Not dictation - a two-way street.  That part is still difficult, especially with Snickers because we don't have a two-way thing going yet.  I can't always tell what he's trying to tell me. 
I sense that he desperately wants something to happen but I'm not sure exactly what that is. 


So, while it may seem like nothing is happening, lots of things are happening!

Tequila

Yesterday, while sitting around looking for something to watch on TV, I ran across a horse trainer on RFD I'd never heard or seen before.  His name is Michael Richards.  He works horses from his wheelchair (a car accident rendered him a paraplegic).  He made it seem natural, as if this was something that no one should take note of, but I did because it affects how you train a horse.  He was wonderfully calm and so was the horse.  His words were well chosen, intelligent, and spoken slowly. 

Snickers and Tequila in the back

I was impressed because he works in some of the things I've been learning about - being gentle, asking not telling, patience, waiting for something to happen...reward.  I found it easy to follow what he was saying because he spoke clearly and slowly.  This is something not to be overlooked, because instead of the repetition that Clinton Anderson uses, since what he says is said slowly, I have time to think about it and incorporate it.  I think so many "TV Trainers" speak quickly, have accents (like Texans, Australians, etc) and expect instant results from people and horses that they forget that everyone needs time to take it all in.  

Bella and Angel having "quality time"

Sometimes they seem so intent on "showing off" or getting their message across that they forget what it's like to be on the learning side.  As an instructor, I find that I need to make myself STOP TALKING when giving lessons.  I am trying to give an instruction, keep it short and let the person work on it for awhile. 


Also, when you think of someone training a horse from a wheelchair, you realize that he cannot pressure them or create so much energy that he loses control.  I wouldn't say, either, that he is overly controlling the horse.  He controls it by keeping things very, very calm.  He asks for a little and uses the little to gain more.  I really enjoyed just listening to him talk and liked the whole picture.  Very cool!

Luna and Tequila

In any case, his show on RFD is called "The Gift of the Horse" and here is link to his website:  http://www.brokenrranch.com


Check it out and let me know what you think. I love to hear people's opinions and my hope with this blog was to get people talking about horse topics that normally don't get discussed.  So please, make yourself heard (herd, lol)!

If you asked your horse what they thought about how you trained them, what do you think they would say?
 I wrote what follows and started to feel very sad, very bad about myself.  I almost can't post this, but I think it's important for others to think about this and admit to themselves how their horse might have felt about what they did to them.  How do you know that your horse feels this way? Actually, it's not as difficult as it sounds. 


I know what mine would say. Unfortunately.


"Cari, you:
1. Lack patience so often, and you get upset and frustrated.  We don't understand why? What did we do wrong?  We are trying to do what you want.
  (I know this because I DO get frustrated, and the look on the horse's face says it all.  I do think that they want to work with us, as long as we are fair, explain things clearly and have patience.  We lack patience because we think things should be a certain way.  When you are following a training DVD, for example.  They make it look so easy and when you try it, you run into problems.  You get frustrated.)

Angel - I think....

2. Sometimes you don't even pay attention to us when you are doing things with us.  You talk on the phone while grooming us and we feel like you don't care. 
  (I have talked on the phone, thought about things that are bothering me, etc, especially while grooming them.  When I began to pay attention to the horse I was working on, everything changed!  THEY changed. They relaxed, they liked what I was doing.)

Snickers

3. We can clearly see you are asking something of us but we have no idea what.  Then you keep changing things.  You aren't very clear in what you are asking. 
  (This is a problem I have been aware of for awhile. Clicker training actually helped me get more organized.  Empowering the horse removes the intense structure, which is more my style.  Still, it's important to be clear!)

Luna

4. We don't understand WHY you want us to do half these things.  What purpose does it serve?
 (It's always MY purpose, isn't it?  And my purpose may not make sense to the horse because they don't understand the goal or why the goal is important.  There is one goal we have in common - to move beautifully and with athleticism.)

Snickers chasing Bella, who is protected by Angel

5. Do you even trust us?  You don't act like it. 
  (In fact, while my actions say otherwise, I do trust them more than I let on.  I am concentrating on letting them feel the trust I have for them.)

Tequila

6. So many wonderful, perfect days go by where you stay in your house or you're gone.  We wish you would come spend time with us.
  (I need to make more time for them, even if it's 15 minutes.  Sometimes my life gets in the way, and I feel their questions at the end of a perfect day that I had to spend inside applying for jobs or cleaning the house.)

Bella

7.   We don't like the bit.  It hurts.  It makes us want to run away.  You pull too hard on us and you are very demanding!
  (Angel and Snickers never had a bit when I got them, so I started them on the bit. Snickers really doesn't like it, even if I am as gentle as I can be.  Angel is more tolerant, but after watching Nevzorov's movie, I decided to try using the hackamore.  Not bad!  Tequila, too, fights the bit, and saddle, so I am re-thinking what to do with her. I had always been told that if they fight back, they are just "testing" us.  Sometimes that's true, but when I got on Snickers and let him do and go where he wanted, he continually took me to the tie rail.  "Of course he did!" You say.  "You must make him do things, take control!"  I no longer believe that.  Snickers did not enjoy what we did together under saddle.  Neither did Tequila.  Angel was kinder, and we have a better relationship than the others.  But what does that tell you?  The question is, can they get to the point where they like it?  That's what this is all about!)


8.  We don't like to be whacked with the orange stick just because we don't understand what to do.
  (This is something I did while following Clinton Anderson's videos.  He likes to whack a lot.  If they don't move, then you continually increase the pressure, many times using the stick to tap-tap harder-whack.  It's punishing and if they don't get it to begin with, how does it help?  When I did this type of training with Angel, she gave me a look I'll never forget.  It said, "Why?  Why are you hitting me like this?"  I never did it again.)


These are a few things I thought of and I'm sure there are more. Some are things that I had realized and already taken steps to change myself.  Some are more recent discoveries and I still feel guilty about them.
We have only just begun down the path to the goal, the goal of becoming stronger, more beautiful in movement and closer in our relationship. Those were always the goals, when I think back on it. 


Just what is it that I want?  I want to have that kind of relationship where my horse moves like the beautiful athlete they are, where there is mutual trust and communication, where we all feel safe in what we are doing.  The kind of relationship that I think certain masters have with their horses.  Where we can dance. 

The past month has been a difficult one for getting any work done with the horses. Between the weather and the job search, I have not worked with them much at all.  I did manage a few sessions of very light lunging and grooming, as mentioned I think. What I had done seemed so minor, so insignificant that I wasn't expecting any results.  Not that my work was really based on results - it was more about communication. I guess what I mean is that I didn't expect those few sessions to change anything about the horses or my relationship to them. 

Tried to get pictures of them in motion - these aren't the best!
However, you can see Snickers' (in fore-front) inside hind coming
 underneath his body nicely.

However, yesterday I let the horses out in the pasture together (they have been in two groups because Snickers harasses Bella) while I watched from my living room.  They began to run around, full of energy.  As I watched I noticed - could it be?  They were moving differently.  Luna has always had a very heavy gait - not very light or "floaty".  Her hind legs tend to drag. As I watch her now her hind feet are really moving, coming up off the ground with so much more grace.  It's not perfect, but it's so much better.

As I watch all of them out there they are all moving better.  Even Snickers, who moved fairly well to begin with.  He looks like a dressage horse.  Angel and Tequila, too, are moving more gracefully and freely.  All that from maybe three sessions of lunging and working with them on bringing the hind leg underneath them further. I concentrated on keeping that mental thought in the forefront of my mind while lunging them, in order to get across to them what we were trying to accomplish.  I didn't push, and if they wanted to stop OR keep going, we did.  

Angel and Bella, best friends!  

I'm floored and very pleased.  I think perhaps there was communication and that they are finally doing something that I taught them that they want to do! I find that so inspiring and wonderful.  There's something about trying to get a horse to do something that only you think is important that ruins the relationship.  It becomes an oppressive relationship rather than a cooperative one.  

What's the difference?  When both sides have a say in what you do together, there is more trust, true friendship and love than just you saying "This is what we will do today and if you don't like it, too bad, because I am in charge!"  So I'm very excited about the future of the horses and the future of my relationship to them.

From left to right, front to back: Snickers, Tequila, Luna, Bella, Angel

Last night I watched a movie on OWN, a documentary called "One Lucky Elephant".  It's about a circus owner's search to find a place for his performing elephant to retire.  He bought the elephant as a baby and had someone else "break" her, and then built a circus around her.  It was even named after her.  You get the sense that he really loves this elephant and she loves him back.  There is another handler named Raul, who feeds and trains Flora also.  They show him working with her and it was appallingly obvious to me that he talked down to her.  His commands were harsh and demanding.  The tricks he asked her to do looked painful to watch. 

As I watched the movie, many things became painfully obvious.  How they interacted with the elephant is very similar to things we do to horses.  Horse training (and elephant training as well) are about putting out the fire, not encouraging it.  It's about dominance and making the horse submissive.  Yes, the techniques for that have gotten much gentler over the years, which is generally good, but they are still about dominating the animal, not allowing the animal to be itself.  They have to be what you want them to be.  I will try not to give everything away, but there is a part at the end that describes how baby elephants are trained.  The techniques are all old cowboy training methods (tying up a leg, making them lie down, etc.) and it was hard to watch!  It upset me.  Then the elephant's owner admitted that he didn't like the way the trainer was breaking his "baby", but "that's how it's done, and they have to learn to behave a certain way if they are going to be around people". 

I can't fault this man for thinking that way because I have said the same thing!  The problem is, if you aren't told that there's another way, then you can only do what you are told is "the" way.  Some will argue that you shouldn't accept these things, that you should stand up, etc. etc.  It's not so cut and dried, however. The horse industry is INUNDATED with horse training videos, each one saying that their "method" is better, more gentle, different than the last.  In truth, 98% of them use traditional training theories as their "method".  Some clinicians give credit to the old-timers that taught them, others pretend like they came up with it all on their own.  None of it is really new, and none of it is based on positive reward except clicker training, and only empowering the horse  gives the them a voice and a choice. 

If anyone spends the time to really study each "method" (I don't think most people do, they find a training "guru" and only pay homage to that person) it can take years to sort out what's really going on.  Once I learned about positive vs negative reinforcement it was easy to see that all traditional training methods use negative reinforcement.  That is, "if you don't do this I am going to increase the pressure on you somehow until you do it".  When the horse acts correctly, the punishment stops. The Punishment can be poking them with a finger, using your stick to tap-tap-tap harder and harder, anything irritating or annoying, etc.  They use reward sparingly (the "reward", we are told, is that we stop annoying the horse or whacking it).  Sounds like the way my little brother tried to get what he wanted: "I won't stop punching you until you give me your candy!"

The thing is, most people really don't want to hurt an animal. I believe that Flora's owner, David, truly loved her and she loved him too.  But the way she was trained and worked was so demeaning that it made her angry, I think.  After Flora's retirement a woman came with Raul to visit her. This woman was completely enamored of her, thought she was so beautiful and really wanted to connect with her but sensed that Flora didn't like her. Even so, they rode her and then the woman got off onto a tree branch, and Flora wrapped her trunk around the woman and beat her against the tree.  The woman fell or was thrown to the ground.  She had very serious multiple injuries and was hospitalized.  The interesting part, the part that perhaps we all understand, is what the lady said afterwards, "I didn't feel any pain.  I didn't feel anything but heartbreak."  Wow.  The owner of the elephant sanctuary, Carol Buckley, said that Flora was good example of "All that can go wrong with the best of intentions".   It reminds me of that cartoon of the Abominable Snowman, how he would pick up Daffy Duck or whoever and squeeze the life out of him while saying "I promise to love you and keep you and hold you tight forever and ever!"  Meanwhile, Daffy Duck was dying in his hands.  We love our animals to death, sometimes smothering them and not really understanding them.

Even though we love our animals and try to act with the best of intentions, things that we don't think twice about can also be harmful.  I think that many horse trainers, Clinton Anderson included, don't think that they are doing any harm.  They are taught that you must be brutal or the animal will get the upper hand!  They are dangerous and they can really hurt you and this is what justifies how horses (and other animals) are trained.  While it is true that animals can be dangerous, I tend to think that the way we try to completely control them makes them fight back more than they would otherwise. Other things, like separating babies from mamas before they are really ready, keeping a social animals apart from those of thier kind and other practices are more subtly harmful.  Many people never question what they are taught, or like me, they question it internally and search for another way on their own, while trying to fit in with everyone else.  It took me many long years to find the answer, and now I need the courage to be that way.  Horse society will look down on me, but a few choice souls will understand.

It's time we give the horse a chance, give him the choice to hang out with us and interact, or not.  We have been so sure he's dangerous we haven't looked to see if that's true.  I believe that horses are made dangerous by people, just like elephants.  They get fed up with our "holier than thou" attitude and fight back.  What if we gave them the chance to show us what they can really do, and how wonderful and trustworthy they really are?  I have found the courage to look at horses in a new way (for me), and not let others opinions sway me anymore.  I hope that whoever reads this will take a chance and do the same...  and maybe we  can make a true "horse-man-ship".

What they REALLY want to do...

Visit the website for "One Lucky Elephant"

http://oneluckyelephant.com/

Or the website for Ahali Elephants where Flora now lives:

http://www.africanelephants.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=52&Itemid=1

It's been a few weeks of my empowered horses experiment and things are going well.  Let me explain: I wrote a letter to Imke Spilker, the woman who wrote Empowered Horses.  I told her that I liked the book but after reading it, although I completely agreed with everything she said, I was now very lost.  What do I do with my horses now?  I mean what do we do together?  I had this very profound realization that everything I had previously learned about horses meant nothing.  The rug had been pulled out from under me completely. 

She wrote back, which pleased and surprised me.  She told me that the feelings I had were not only valid, but the first step towards empowerment.  She said that the horses "needed this (my) emptiness, in order to actively express themselves".  That this would give me time to find out what it's like on the other side.  They need to figure out that I have cleared my mind of the past and that the future will be different, that it will include their input. 

I understood what she meant and I also understood that horse people are just as empowered, in her view, as horses are.  We simply need to listen to the horses and ask them what we can do to help them.  This is very difficult for me, as you might imagine.  Yet it's also compelling and secretly what I've always wanted to do. 

So I've stopped all formal training, period. I may go to them with a halter and/or a whip, but I have tried a few different things (yeah, I know, not exactly "doing nothing") like going for a walk and letting the horse lead.  Just scratching them and hanging out with them is also a favorite.  Today I went out about 45 minutes before feeding time and Angel latched on to me.  That doesn't happen very often, so I went into my training pen and she followed, of her own accord.  She had no halter but I had my whip.  I stood like I was lunging and she began to circle me of her own accord, staying a perfect distance away.  I worked on the circling exercise (she doesn't call it that) from the book, encouraging Angel to move her inside hind leg further beneath her body.  We moved at a walk, slowly, on both sides.  At the end she was very affectionate, which she usually is not. She stayed close with me while I went to the others.

Angel, before her evening shower...

I went through the paddock and did the same little exercise with each one, all without a halter (except for Luna, who was nervous - I'll explain later) and all with the others right there.  I only did this little exercise for a few circles each direction.  I was slow, gentle, encouraging but not pushing. 
It felt very different working this way.  The horses all seemed to "get it", to understand that I was changed and was trying to help them.  Am I dreaming that they were complicit or was I trying to fit my old way of working into the new way - was I cheating by asking them for something?  In reality they were completely free (no halter, except Luna) to NOT do.  In fact, Bella opted for dinner and a long hug rather than work.  So I stopped asking immediately. 

Here's the thing - as soon as the horses sensed that I was not going to force the issue (before today, even) and "make" them do things, they freely spoke up.  They haven't been afraid to let me know what they want.  Today I worked with them unhaltered and amongst the other horses, usually a situation that encourages them to ignore you.  But they didn't.   

Tequila, always peeking from the back!

As for Luna, she tends to get tense when I have trained her in the past (due to my own  mistakes), so when she saw me with the whip, she didn't trust my intentions.  I made the decision to use the halter and do the exercise with her so that we could start fresh. Seems counter intuitive, but that was how I chose to approach it. I wanted to let her know my intentions had changed and our "work" would be different.  She seemed more relaxed afterwards, so I count it as a positive exchange. 

Tonight I watched a documentary on OWN called "One Lucky Elephant".  Everything in that movie feeds in to what I have just learned and reinforces to  me that I am doing the right thing. More on that tomorrow)  I need to let go even more, though, let go of "doing" and concentrate on being there, among them.    I feel that they can sense my intentions (or any one's, for that matter) and know that I have changed somehow.  I am now the one waiting, listening, with (hopefully) a beginner's mind and it's the horses' turn to take over and train me.  

Our pond

I have been struggling, for oh so long, with being a horse trainer.   Unlike so many people I didn't have the money to go to Germany, or spend my summers with so-and-so famous trainer cowboy, or even to pay to go to clinics.  I've had to scrounge and learn from the people I had access to.  Since I don't have a "facility", a nice place to give lessons, I go to other people's properties to teach.  It has been, for the most part, an on-the-side kind of business.  I've always wanted to be more, to be able to show and to further my education as far as training and horses in general.  I wanted to have more of a name for myself and to be able to support myself on my horse business. 

Along the way, many things happened that kept me from realizing my dream.  What exactly happened isn't important, but for one reason or another I never got to the level I wanted to and at my age I was feeling regretful of that.  I have never stopped looking for a way to find a mentor, to find someone nearby to work with, but the folks I've run in to just weren't what I was looking for.  The more I kept looking at different training "methods", the more I didn't like what I found.  Clicker training was the first glimmer through the mess of horse training methods.  But I like to keep an open mind and so I kept reading any horse training book that seemed different.  I've already written about the books I've read, namely "Empowered Horses" by Imke Spilker. 

Finally I've reached a point where I feel like there was a purpose behind the procrastination and the missed opportunities.  It was leading me here, to this point in my life, to a point where I can accept that I'm not a trainer and teacher of all kinds of people and actually be thankful for that!  Being a trainer on the level I thought I should be at requires absolute faith and belief that what you are doing is the right way.  I have really never felt that way, obviously, since I have continued to search.  I'm thankful for that little voice inside me that says "keep looking, this isn't it". 

So, I think this is it.  This is it because it requires me to not be in the public eye, or to be teaching all kinds of people, or to have a line of training DVDs.  Once you commit to a way, it's very hard to change your mind and be convincing to your audience, especially after they have bought all your products.  Instead, I feel like I've arrived, that I am "home".  I am free to do what I want with my horses (or, rather, they are free to do what they want and perhaps we can do somethings together), which also means not having to train them relentlessly on a strict schedule.  I had so much guilt and stress trying to find the time to work with them the "way you are supposed to".  I enjoyed clicker training and will probably keep doing that in part.   I'm not going back to the more traditional methods, though.  There has been a mental switch that prevents me from treating horses the way I used to.  I can't do it anymore! 

That doesn't mean that I don't want to be with them, spend time, "work" with them.  It means I am done spending every minute with them "in training".  I'm ready to enjoy them, make friends and have some fun! 

Finally, I am at peace.  I feel like my search for a way to interact with my horses is done.  I am at peace with my horses and that finally, finally I can work on the thing I always wanted to work on - having a relationship with them.  That's what this was all about, how to reach them, how to get closer to them.  Making money at it kind of ruins that.  I was never really that good at the career portion anyway, and it seems like I was never meant for that (I'm actually a shy person, though I do love to teach riding).  I've accepted it, I've accepted me, and I accept my horses the way they are. Perhaps I will teach a few lessons the way I always have, a few folks at a time.  It's so much more meaningful and rewarding that way. 

I sincerely hope that whoever reads this finds their own way with their horses and takes the time to look outside the box once in a awhile.  You may be surprised at what you find...

I wanted to fill you in on how things are going with the empowered horses experiment.  Thanksgiving was last week and the relatives just left, so last week I only had limited time to be with the horses.  I did have a few sessions with them, though and wanted to pass on how it went and what I did. 

First of all, it's difficult to head out to the horses without a plan or a training goal.  It seemed difficult for the horses to figure out what was going on, what they should do, and what I wanted from them.  Since our relationship up to now has all been one-sided, they were looking to me for some kind of guidance.  I assume that it will take some time for us all to come up with a new way of interacting.  To most horse people this line of reasoning may seem weird or pointless, but I see a change in the horses already. 

I have noticed, for example, that there are definitely things that particular horses of mine don't like doing.  Snickers doesn't like being ridden with a bit.  Tequila gets sore from the saddle and until I find a saddle that fits her, she will object to being saddled and ridden.  There are other things, too, that I can't remember at the moment.  So, our interaction is now one-on-one in my little arena (a bit too small for the purpose),  sometimes with a lead.  I have tried taking the lead off because that's the purpose - to allow the horse to be as free as possible while we are together.  I try to play, but this is difficult because I have never played with them before.  There is lots of scratching and moving.  They seem to feel uncomfortable just walking next to me, so that's something I'm looking for to show how well things are changing.  Snickers seemed to want to do his clicker training and even offered some of the things I had taught him, so we did some of those things. He is very smart and I feel that he really wants a connection with someone.  He is not afraid to express himself and to say what he would like. 

Bella, too, was eager to do the clicker exercise of going in the garage.  I backed off even further, though, and did the entire thing without a halter or lead rope.  That way she could do the entire thing without any pressure at all and at her choosing.  She chose when to come in, how far and when to stop.  This is completely opposite of any training method I have ever tried, and it may seem counter-productive.  But here's the thing - both Snickers and Bella chose to do the exercises we had already been doing.  It makes me feel good to know that that work was fun and enjoyable to them, and they found a purpose in it, too.  That's the best feeling!

The goal is to allow them a voice, a chance to interact with me in a way they choose, to play, to relax and perhaps in the end to work together.  We'll see what happens. 

I am treading a fine line here, of which I am completely aware.  The fine line is between being a horsewoman and a bleeding heart.   In my mind, you can't be both.  A bleeding heart (for the purposes of this blog) is someone who thinks that we should have nothing to do with animals and that we in no way enhance an animal's life by being associated with them.  I am setting myself up to defend the very act of keeping horses, and that's not my purpose right now.  This is really about how we treat them after we all agree that we should have them around...  What follows is my personal opinion only.  If you agree, fantastic. If not, that's ok too.  If I make you angry, you may want to consider where that anger is coming from. 

I used to work with a woman who owned 7 dogs, a cat, 2 birds and 3 horses.  She once looked me in the eye and told me that she thought it was wrong for people to keep animals!  Her dogs all came from rescue organizations and many had "issues" and were difficult to deal with.  She didn't want to take the time to train them.  When I suggested humane means of training (i.e. the clicker), she responded by purchasing shock collars.  In the end I had to agree - people like her should not own animals because they are not willing to take the time to work with them in a humane way. 

Animals, whether dogs, horses, cats or hamsters, all require time just to feed them and clean up after them (obviously).  On top of that, we are keeping these animals for something more, for a connection.  I can honestly say that many of the cats I've had have chosen me.  The last one to arrive, Nemo, was sitting on my lawn near the barn, watching me intently when I first met him.  When I noticed him he ran away, then came back.  I fed him and he has never left.  He can leave whenever he wants to.  Even my horses could leave if they chose, if they were really unhappy.  At least two of them are experts at tearing down barbed-wire fencing and unlocking gates.  They could also jump out if they desired.  I mean, the fence is really just a suggestion.  Occasionally they have gotten out, wandered around the neighborhood and came running back when they saw me looking for them.  When we try to ride down the street they are afraid to go past our property...embarrassing but true!

So, we want a connection with these animals, right?  I was going to say especially women and horses, but men often also want to feel connected to their animals.  Snickers and my husband Doug have a special connection that I don't try to interfere with.  I love it, in fact.  I personally love to ride, love to be around the horses, love it when they come running to the fence.  I would like them to like me.  I don't want them to be afraid of me, and I think they want the same from me.  People who are afraid of animals or other people just make us uncomfortable.  When I first got a horse, I wanted to love that horse and vice verse.  I didn't want to make her into a slave, per say. 

Then I gradually got caught up in methods of training, and rough cowboys (not all cowboys are rough), and rough dressage people, and being "more assertive".  I lost my natural gentleness and the connection to my horse Bella.  Other things also contributed to that, like our being apart for way too long and only being able to see her a few times a month when I used to go see her daily.  I had the connection and lost it!

I lost it because I was learning to train horses and fell into some ways of training that are extremely common and can turn very aggressive and rough.  The thing is, no one thinks of them that way.  I think that people are starting to be more aware of things that are rough, but it's a slow process.  When you have an internationally recognized clinician telling you to do something, you believe in the correctness of that tool.  This is how you deal with horses, it's been done this way for years and years and years, how can it be wrong?  If your gold-medal winning dressage instructor tells you to pull back on the reins for all you're worth, and to keep pulling even when nothing good comes of it, and it feels like you're yanking the horse's jaw off, how can you question them?  It feels wrong, but this person has been given a medal by the USDF.  The next day your arms are sore from pulling and you can't help but wonder if the horse's mouth hurts even worse than your arms!

These little moments creep into your mind and build up over the years.  I kept trying new avenues, new instructors, new methods, new styles of riding.  What it comes down to is how the instructor or trainer thinks, or even if they think!  Many trainers learn their method and then go out and teach  that method and train train train that way all their lives without questioning anything!  And then there are those who pretend to be thinking, like a boss I had who said over and over, "I just can't stand dressage because they hold the reins way too tightly.  THAT'S not horsemanship in my mind!"  Then she would "train" a horse by repeating something, literally, 50 times in one session!  I watched her with a horse who wouldn't pick up a right lead.  She worked that horse on leads only for an hour, making her pick it up over and over and over.  It disgusted me.  I said nothing (this was my boss), no support of her or anything.  I felt cornered and sublimated.  I felt like the horse - having to obey and having no say but feeling completely misunderstood and wronged. 

By the time I worked for the boss I just spoke of, I had seen and tried many things that bothered me.  My boss was the final straw.  She never took me seriously (that's partly my own fault and a topic for another day) and talked down to me.  This is how many people approach horse training.  Clinton Anderson often calls the horses names - "idiot" is the first that comes to mind.  I think he is trying to be funny in a way, to make the horse seem less important.  To not let the horse be intimidating by giving him a derogatory name.  In Mr. Anderson's view, horses are nearly an enemy.  Yes, he does give them a nice rub on the forehead at times, but only after extraordinary effort on the horse's behalf.

There are a few, a very few, horse folk who can train a horse without force.  I have been unearthing them slowly over the years.  Nuno Oliveira was seemingly one, though I have yet to see him start a horse.  His writings and what I have seen of his philosophy and riding is all about tact, however, and the way he sits a horse, so still and so graceful, leaves no doubt in my mind that he accomplished much with little interference on his part.  What that means is he is not working hard, not flapping his arms or sweating or tapping away with his spurs or bouncing in the saddle.  He is like a waiter at a fine restaurant who touches you gently on the elbow, "Sir, would you like another drink?" he asks, very politely and quietly.  That is tact in riding - a gentle touch with the leg and spur, a slight wringing of the reins to bring the horse into collection. 

Then there is Frederic Pignon and Magali Delgado of the horse show Cavalia.  They wrote a book about how they train their horses called Galloping to Freedom. It's all about empowerment and play.  There is a very high level of trust between them and their horses.  I assumed by watching the show that the horses were trained to do certain routines.  They are not!  They are trained to express themselves and to interact with Frederic and Magali.  When they go onstage on any given night, they don't really know what will happen.  I find that refreshing and courageous and beautiful.  That is a true connection with a horse, and that is allowing the horse's expression and joy to become evident. 

I am also reading a book called Empowered Horses by Imke Spilker.  It is a bit long winded, but the essence is important.  It is about how to approach riding, keeping and training horses with a different attitude, much like Pignon and Delgado - playing, allowing the horse expression and choice in what is done each day.  It is difficult for me, even wanting to approach things in this way, not to head out to the arena with an agenda.  It is also difficult to figure out how to play with older horses that are so used to me being the "Master".  That old way of being has to be dismantled first, and no one has suggested how to do that yet. I will keep writing about my experiences, though, in hopes that someone else will benefit from that.  However, clicker training was a great start. 

I have to say something here about the clicker.  I still think it's wonderful and a very useful tool.  However, I also think it's important not to use it as a demand or a "have to" thing.  I think it's easy to fall into the trap of "since I am rewarding you, you'd better do this!".  We have to recognize that we can't ask that.  We can only say "please", and I would like to reward you for doing this.  You also have to clicker train with the attitude of communication being the goal more so than the thing you are training.  You must have understanding of the horse and whether or not they are enjoying something.  Even with a reward not all horses will want to do everything you think they should do.  Know when to stop, know when to change what you are doing.  Don't make it boring, or drawn out.  If they are losing interest in the exercise, it's up to you to change something. 

Communication is a two-way street.  If you want to use the clicker to communicate to them, then you should also listen to what they have to say.  They will communicate back, and if you have ever seriously worked with a horse, you know that they do!

All I am saying here is that there should be much more of a place for gentleness in working with horses.  You will accomplish so much more than if you demand for things to happen and your will find that you develop a deeper connection with your horse.