Grace Under Pressure

If anything describes horsemanship it is the words "grace under pressure".   The ability to ride any horse, under any conditions and make it look easy is what I would call grace under pressure.  The best riders and trainers remain calm, un-flustered when things go wrong.  When the horse bucks, spooks, forgets something, over-reacts, under-reacts, whatever can go wrong a true rider can handle it and not let it ruin his/her disposition.

I was reading a book called In Search of Captain Zero by Allan Weisbecker. Essentially it is a book about a serious surfer - not the pro-surfer type, the gypsy globe trotting kind.  Looking for the perfect wave, the perfect place, etc.  If you aren't familiar, surfers can be serious hobbyists, taking their sport to heart like other people take religion to heart.  It can be a spiritual, intellectual and athletic undertaking to surf waves all over the world.  What does this have to do with horses? 

There was a part in the book where the author was talking about how sometimes when surfing the "I" dissolves and melds into the wave, you become part of the movement and the moment.  The same thing happens in riding too.  If you have ridden a horse to the point where it  is moving effortlessly under you, responding to your cues to the lightest touch or sometimes with barely a thought then you know what I mean.  It's when everything comes together - the weather, the horse and you to create this moment where riding the horse is spiritual, you lose the sense of dominating the horse and instead know that your desires are your horse's desires. 

In training you constantly struggle to get the horse to follow your agenda.  There really is no nice way to say it - unlike surfing, the horse needs to be molded to our goals.  They have a personality and an agenda of their own.  The younger the horse when it's started the easier it is to convince that it should go along with you.  My horses were all older when they were trained, for various reasons.  Most of them are still deep in the process.  Snickers was 12 when we got him, and convincing him to go along with my wants is sometimes not easy.  Angel was 9 and had very little formal training.  She only knew that if you squeezed with your right leg she should trot.  Pulling back on the reins meant stop.  And she kind of neck reined.  Both of them were stiff, fell in and out on circles, went their own direction and speed but were otherwise pretty mellow horses. 

It has been a joy to see them grow into well-mannered and trained horses.  They are ridden in the pasture - we have no arena, so they have to deal with ditches, small trees and clumps of grass.  They used to trip a lot.  They had never had a bit, just a hackamore and so I put them in a bit for the first time. They pulled and rooted the reins out of my hands, wouldn't listen.  Over time Angel especially has become a wonderful horse to ride.  She has a smooth trot that blossomed into a wonderful floating trot.  She learned her leads in a week, she can side pass and do shoulder-in.  In short, she became a cooperative and willing partner and a joy to ride.  She looks forward to learning new things instead of fighting me.  I had to figure out how to get her to like what she did, and what worked absolutely the best was clicker training. 

Finally, one day I was riding her at sunset after a solid week of working her daily.  Suddenly everything came together - I could feel her listening, ready to do anything I asked.  She was flexible and fit.  We could canter without drifting to the left, or charging.  Her tail never swished with irritation like it used to, she didn't balk or rear up or object.  That's a lot of "nots" and "didn'ts"... But Angel had become an angel.  She had become more than either of us thought she could be - she was beautiful and strong.  She was athletic and powerful and graceful. 

When the horse is finally light, and strong and flexible and knows all the cues, that's when "horse" and "rider" become a team and the "dissolution of the I" occurs.  It doesn't matter what kind of riding you do, this is always true.  You can tell when a particular horse and rider lacks in this area because instead of constantly improving they actually start to regress.  The horse develops it's own reaction to cues that are incorrect, or it becomes lame more and more often.  It gets sour and won't perform.  I am thinking of a particular horse and rider.  The horse was purchased for a large price from an excellent trainer.  It had a wonderful pedigree and a disposition to please.  Anyone could have ridden that horse and it would do what was asked.  This rider competed on it and it gradually became sour, unwilling.  It wouldn't do things correctly.  It became lame after shows.  In my opinion, the rider lacked compassion and the ability to bring the horse along.  They lacked patience with themselves most of all, and it came out in their riding. 

Riding well is about losing your ego even while having the self-confidence to be a leader for the horse.  The horse functions as a mirror for the rider, showing us our flaws.  Many many great riders and trainers have remarked on this fact, it is something that you can't help but come across if you do any research into horsemanship.  To me it is unfortunate to change such a great horse as this person had, but they also missed the opportunity to learn about themselves.  It is easy to put people down, to bad mouth them and make fun of their flaws.  It is better to learn from them, to look at what's happening to their horse and make sure it isn't happening to your horse.  What affect are you having?  Does your horse like to be ridden?  Is it getting lame or sour?  Is it getting and staying flexible?  Do you have those moments where riding is effortless, where you feel like you are one with your horse? 

Making a great horse is also making yourself be the best you can be.  Surfers have a much smaller margin of error.  If they aren't aware, if they don't bend to conditions and gather their courage for the monster waves, they could wipe-out or even die.  Riders can also put themselves in danger, for sure, but it's different.  The number of horses that are truly that dangerous are very small.  And because the horse is a living being, I believe that we usually have the chance to reach it's mind.  Waves ask for no compassion and give none.  The wave forces you to face yourself over and over.  The bigger the surf the more this is true.  This is where the "dissolution of the I" happens.  In riding, you face yourself in a more subtle way.  You have to look, to watch the horse to see your mistakes.  Once the horse is well-trained, it creates the mirror for you and begins to reflect the rider's flaws. 

Some people like to ride on a purely recreational level, and I understand that.  Not everyone practices riding like I do, or top level riders do (I am not a top-level rider but if I had the means I would go for it).   But if you do, there is so much joy and incredible oneness that can be achieved with the horse.  When you work hard and are honest with yourself, it becomes as much for you as for the horse.  Your agenda and the horse's agenda are the same, your ability matches the horse, you are improving each other and you are growing. That, to me, is what the purpose of riding is.

I am treading a fine line here, of which I am completely aware.  The fine line is between being a horsewoman and a bleeding heart.   In my mind, you can't be both.  A bleeding heart (for the purposes of this blog) is someone who thinks that we should have nothing to do with animals and that we in no way enhance an animal's life by being associated with them.  I am setting myself up to defend the very act of keeping horses, and that's not my purpose right now.  This is really about how we treat them after we all agree that we should have them around...  What follows is my personal opinion only.  If you agree, fantastic. If not, that's ok too.  If I make you angry, you may want to consider where that anger is coming from. 

I used to work with a woman who owned 7 dogs, a cat, 2 birds and 3 horses.  She once looked me in the eye and told me that she thought it was wrong for people to keep animals!  Her dogs all came from rescue organizations and many had "issues" and were difficult to deal with.  She didn't want to take the time to train them.  When I suggested humane means of training (i.e. the clicker), she responded by purchasing shock collars.  In the end I had to agree - people like her should not own animals because they are not willing to take the time to work with them in a humane way. 

Animals, whether dogs, horses, cats or hamsters, all require time just to feed them and clean up after them (obviously).  On top of that, we are keeping these animals for something more, for a connection.  I can honestly say that many of the cats I've had have chosen me.  The last one to arrive, Nemo, was sitting on my lawn near the barn, watching me intently when I first met him.  When I noticed him he ran away, then came back.  I fed him and he has never left.  He can leave whenever he wants to.  Even my horses could leave if they chose, if they were really unhappy.  At least two of them are experts at tearing down barbed-wire fencing and unlocking gates.  They could also jump out if they desired.  I mean, the fence is really just a suggestion.  Occasionally they have gotten out, wandered around the neighborhood and came running back when they saw me looking for them.  When we try to ride down the street they are afraid to go past our property...embarrassing but true!

So, we want a connection with these animals, right?  I was going to say especially women and horses, but men often also want to feel connected to their animals.  Snickers and my husband Doug have a special connection that I don't try to interfere with.  I love it, in fact.  I personally love to ride, love to be around the horses, love it when they come running to the fence.  I would like them to like me.  I don't want them to be afraid of me, and I think they want the same from me.  People who are afraid of animals or other people just make us uncomfortable.  When I first got a horse, I wanted to love that horse and vice verse.  I didn't want to make her into a slave, per say. 

Then I gradually got caught up in methods of training, and rough cowboys (not all cowboys are rough), and rough dressage people, and being "more assertive".  I lost my natural gentleness and the connection to my horse Bella.  Other things also contributed to that, like our being apart for way too long and only being able to see her a few times a month when I used to go see her daily.  I had the connection and lost it!

I lost it because I was learning to train horses and fell into some ways of training that are extremely common and can turn very aggressive and rough.  The thing is, no one thinks of them that way.  I think that people are starting to be more aware of things that are rough, but it's a slow process.  When you have an internationally recognized clinician telling you to do something, you believe in the correctness of that tool.  This is how you deal with horses, it's been done this way for years and years and years, how can it be wrong?  If your gold-medal winning dressage instructor tells you to pull back on the reins for all you're worth, and to keep pulling even when nothing good comes of it, and it feels like you're yanking the horse's jaw off, how can you question them?  It feels wrong, but this person has been given a medal by the USDF.  The next day your arms are sore from pulling and you can't help but wonder if the horse's mouth hurts even worse than your arms!

These little moments creep into your mind and build up over the years.  I kept trying new avenues, new instructors, new methods, new styles of riding.  What it comes down to is how the instructor or trainer thinks, or even if they think!  Many trainers learn their method and then go out and teach  that method and train train train that way all their lives without questioning anything!  And then there are those who pretend to be thinking, like a boss I had who said over and over, "I just can't stand dressage because they hold the reins way too tightly.  THAT'S not horsemanship in my mind!"  Then she would "train" a horse by repeating something, literally, 50 times in one session!  I watched her with a horse who wouldn't pick up a right lead.  She worked that horse on leads only for an hour, making her pick it up over and over and over.  It disgusted me.  I said nothing (this was my boss), no support of her or anything.  I felt cornered and sublimated.  I felt like the horse - having to obey and having no say but feeling completely misunderstood and wronged. 

By the time I worked for the boss I just spoke of, I had seen and tried many things that bothered me.  My boss was the final straw.  She never took me seriously (that's partly my own fault and a topic for another day) and talked down to me.  This is how many people approach horse training.  Clinton Anderson often calls the horses names - "idiot" is the first that comes to mind.  I think he is trying to be funny in a way, to make the horse seem less important.  To not let the horse be intimidating by giving him a derogatory name.  In Mr. Anderson's view, horses are nearly an enemy.  Yes, he does give them a nice rub on the forehead at times, but only after extraordinary effort on the horse's behalf.

There are a few, a very few, horse folk who can train a horse without force.  I have been unearthing them slowly over the years.  Nuno Oliveira was seemingly one, though I have yet to see him start a horse.  His writings and what I have seen of his philosophy and riding is all about tact, however, and the way he sits a horse, so still and so graceful, leaves no doubt in my mind that he accomplished much with little interference on his part.  What that means is he is not working hard, not flapping his arms or sweating or tapping away with his spurs or bouncing in the saddle.  He is like a waiter at a fine restaurant who touches you gently on the elbow, "Sir, would you like another drink?" he asks, very politely and quietly.  That is tact in riding - a gentle touch with the leg and spur, a slight wringing of the reins to bring the horse into collection. 

Then there is Frederic Pignon and Magali Delgado of the horse show Cavalia.  They wrote a book about how they train their horses called Galloping to Freedom. It's all about empowerment and play.  There is a very high level of trust between them and their horses.  I assumed by watching the show that the horses were trained to do certain routines.  They are not!  They are trained to express themselves and to interact with Frederic and Magali.  When they go onstage on any given night, they don't really know what will happen.  I find that refreshing and courageous and beautiful.  That is a true connection with a horse, and that is allowing the horse's expression and joy to become evident. 

I am also reading a book called Empowered Horses by Imke Spilker.  It is a bit long winded, but the essence is important.  It is about how to approach riding, keeping and training horses with a different attitude, much like Pignon and Delgado - playing, allowing the horse expression and choice in what is done each day.  It is difficult for me, even wanting to approach things in this way, not to head out to the arena with an agenda.  It is also difficult to figure out how to play with older horses that are so used to me being the "Master".  That old way of being has to be dismantled first, and no one has suggested how to do that yet. I will keep writing about my experiences, though, in hopes that someone else will benefit from that.  However, clicker training was a great start. 

I have to say something here about the clicker.  I still think it's wonderful and a very useful tool.  However, I also think it's important not to use it as a demand or a "have to" thing.  I think it's easy to fall into the trap of "since I am rewarding you, you'd better do this!".  We have to recognize that we can't ask that.  We can only say "please", and I would like to reward you for doing this.  You also have to clicker train with the attitude of communication being the goal more so than the thing you are training.  You must have understanding of the horse and whether or not they are enjoying something.  Even with a reward not all horses will want to do everything you think they should do.  Know when to stop, know when to change what you are doing.  Don't make it boring, or drawn out.  If they are losing interest in the exercise, it's up to you to change something. 

Communication is a two-way street.  If you want to use the clicker to communicate to them, then you should also listen to what they have to say.  They will communicate back, and if you have ever seriously worked with a horse, you know that they do!

All I am saying here is that there should be much more of a place for gentleness in working with horses.  You will accomplish so much more than if you demand for things to happen and your will find that you develop a deeper connection with your horse.

I woke up late again, not that it really matters.  I am not working right now, there is no real schedule except what I set for myself.  However, before I become a complete couch potato I decided to get control over myself and wake up earlier in the morning.  More like 7 am instead of 8:30 am.  So, on this particular day I woke up at 8:30. Again.  I am not happy with myself!

I am still tired although I slept late, and when I go to turn out the horses, I feel lazy. I need to put fly masks on them first, though, which is not a big deal except for Bella.  Let me back track here.  I have owned Bella for about 12 years and during that time she has always had issues with her head, and more specifically her ears.  She came with an old injury on her forehead, a deep crease in the bone.  I am not sure if this has caused her to have headaches, eye problems, or just gave her a general fear of things near her head.  Or perhaps it was a string of unfortunate things that happened when I first got her and tried to bridle her (once when I was putting on the bridle someone made a really loud noise which freaked her out and similar such incidences).  In any case, the traditional methods of working through it only made it worse, much worse.

My last try was a year or two ago when I diligently tried what I call the "rub it out" method.  Just keep touching her head until she gives in.  She didn't give in, really.  I mean, yes, I could have stood out there for hours until she gave in, but we weren't getting anywhere. And yes I was being gentle and going slow but it was only getting worse so I stopped.

Then, of course, I discovered clicker training.  At first I was merely hopeful but when I used the method on Bella's infamous head shying problem, she responded very quickly.  Delightfully quickly.  Then she wounded herself in almost the same spot as the previous injury on her forehead.  Great, I thought.  I will never be able to touch it, but after a few days with the clicker, I could.  My neighbor was watching my horses and she was even able to doctor the wound.  Wow. 

I started to work with her some more to have her accept a fly mask.  So far so good.  I never put it on all the way, I just worked on it for a few days and then we left on vacation.  So here we are, mid-summer and the flies are horrendous.  I really want to put the mask on Bella, so I worked with her for a few days and it went really well. 

Here we are, back to that particular morning when I woke up late.  Normally I take the masks out to the pen and just before opening the gate I put masks on everyone.  I really feel too tired (lazy) to take Bella back to the tie rail and use the clicker to put on the fly mask.  It went so well the previous few days, perhaps...perhaps... just maybe...she would be nice and let me put it on without all the preparation.  Ha ha. HA.

I hold it up to her face and she jerks back.  Of course she does.  So very few days of training doesn't easily erase so many years of a deep-set problem.  I tuck the mask into my pocket.  She looks at me, like my mother would look at me, as if to say, "Cari, you know better."  I open the gate and she flies out, head high.  She could have let me put it on her, but I blew it.  I didn't ask right.

Patience. 

No, didn't fall off the edge of the earth!  March was a tough month.  After the loss of BJ we got more bad news (a friend's father committed suicide) and I lost all desire to do anything.  Then we went to San Diego for a week which was at once wonderful and awful.  Won't go in to the awful part... I had hoped to blog on the road and more negative issues made it impossible. So, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

As someone who recently became enamoured with clicker training I must say that visiting Sea World was awesome!  I haven't broached the subject here yet, but basically clicker training for horses is the same method that is used to train dolphins and other exotic animals.  When training aquatic animals or even fish, one cannot use coercion, which I feel is often used to train horses.  You simply cannot force a dolphin, killer whale, etc, to do something it doesn't want to do - it will just swim away.  Even if contained in a pool, there is no way to get that animal to do anything you want using punishment.  The only way is to use positive reinforcement training. 

This type of method uses a sound (or lights or some other reinforcer) such as a whistle for dolphins or a clicker for dogs and horses to mark a wanted behavior.  It basically says "yes, that's it!"  The sound is followed by a reward.  The reward reinforces the behavior - it causes the animal to want to do it more in order to get a reward. 

If you are a believer in  traditional horse training all this sounds very alien and against common training methods.  I thought that way too, at first, but I have since changed my mind.  About 2 years ago I attended a Clinton Anderson clinic.  I was completely hooked on Clinton and his method.  For the record, his method is basically traditional, as is any training under the header "natural horsemanship".  The methods used, some more harsh or gentle than others, are all basically the same.  Ask the horse to do something (say, move its hip over) and when it doesn't respond increase the pressure.  If you use a finger to move the horse's hip you press harder.  If you use a "stick" of some type, tap and then tap harder.  And harder. According to Clinton, the "reward" is removing the pressure.  In other words, you stop "tapping", pushing, prodding and whacking. 

Clinton is VERY good at what he does.  His timing is perfect and he can minimize the use of whacking by being very judicious with it.  When you watch him it appears that he really isn't being so terrible because he does it fast and gets a response.  When I went home from the clinic I immediately began to work with all my horses using things I had learned at the clinic (actually it was one of those mass marketing deals where you watch him train horses, not something I participated in with my own horse). 

Two of my horses, Angel and Snickers, were 9 and 11 respectively when we bought them and they knew very little. I immediately began trying things out on them and will never forget the look on Angel's face when I whacked her really hard on the neck for the fourth time.  I got NO response except a very hurt and surprised look from her.  She never moved away from the pressure, instead she got angry at me.  Let me say that I truly believe that if Clinton did the same exercise with my horse he could have gotten her to move over no problem - I know my faults. 

I didn't like the tapping really hard part and although I tried my best I think my doubt crept in.  I know Clinton's methods work because I can see him succeeding.  I am also not critical of him because had I been in his shoes when I was young and had the chance to learn those things I would have done it and I would be giving clinics all over creation.  He is teaching what he knows and he is really good at it.  I still admire him, but I choose what I think is a better and easier way to train a horse.

Clicker training is better because you are communicating with your horse by saying "yes" and that is very powerful.  Using the traditional method you are basically saying "no" - think about it...  So all you are telling them is "no, NOT THAT!"  It has the potential to create a lot of confusion.  "If not that, then what should I do?" I imagine them saying.  Yes, Clinton does give the animal a scratch and says "good boy" occasionally.
But is a scratch on the head a true reward?  Is it enough to keep them wanting to do more?

When I tried clicker training for the first time it was miraculous to me.  Things that I had tried and tried to train suddenly became very easy.  For example, Snickers was very head shy when we got him.  I had worked with him some to lower his head but the "reward" of letting go of the rope when he lowered his head didn't really entice him to want to do it.  Older horses are always more difficult.  So the first thing I did with the clicker was teach him to lower his head.  It was wonderful!  He wanted to do it more, and he followed me around after wanting more training! 

Since then I have taught three foals all kinds of things, and worked with about ten other horses on various things that they have a problem with. My horse Bella, a mustang, is extremely head shy.  I have worked diligently and extensively over the years to get her over this.  It always takes weeks and lots of patience and in the end she tolerates it. Then, just when I think I've gotten her over it she explodes and I have to start over again.  I still can't put the reins over her head.  So I began using the clicker to get the reins over her head.  In one 5 minute session she stopped throwing her head away from my hand (she can does this violently) and actually relaxed and let me bring the reins up to her ears.  For the first time she lowered her head willingly and by herself while I lifted the reins near her ears.  I will keep you posted on the progress of this. I also hope to use it to get her in the trailer...

Although it takes timing and patience just like traditional training does, using a clicker is generally a much easier to train.  I also find it safer, calmer and the results come so much faster.  The horse tends to remember the training, even if it was brief, because using this method activates the part of the brain called the "seeking circuit" which is a pleasure center.  Certain types of activity activate this brain function and the memory of it stays there for a long time. It works similarly to the fear circuit, in which things that scare an animal stay in memory for a long time. 

Using traditional training methods I would end up fighting with my horses, trying to be the tough one, showing them I was boss.  I'm not saying I was good at it.  I wasn't. I am good at clicker training and the results say it all.  Snickers and Angel and actually all my horses have come so far in a short time without the rodeo.  I don't feel bad for what I have to do, I enjoy it more.  Now when I go out to the pasture to get a horse to train they all come running up to me, eager.  I now train on a first come, first serve basis!