The Thinking Horsetrainer

On Being Gentle

Published by Cari Zancanelli under , , , on 8:33 PM
I am treading a fine line here, of which I am completely aware.  The fine line is between being a horsewoman and a bleeding heart.   In my mind, you can't be both.  A bleeding heart (for the purposes of this blog) is someone who thinks that we should have nothing to do with animals and that we in no way enhance an animal's life by being associated with them.  I am setting myself up to defend the very act of keeping horses, and that's not my purpose right now.  This is really about how we treat them after we all agree that we should have them around...  What follows is my personal opinion only.  If you agree, fantastic. If not, that's ok too.  If I make you angry, you may want to consider where that anger is coming from. 

I used to work with a woman who owned 7 dogs, a cat, 2 birds and 3 horses.  She once looked me in the eye and told me that she thought it was wrong for people to keep animals!  Her dogs all came from rescue organizations and many had "issues" and were difficult to deal with.  She didn't want to take the time to train them.  When I suggested humane means of training (i.e. the clicker), she responded by purchasing shock collars.  In the end I had to agree - people like her should not own animals because they are not willing to take the time to work with them in a humane way. 

Animals, whether dogs, horses, cats or hamsters, all require time just to feed them and clean up after them (obviously).  On top of that, we are keeping these animals for something more, for a connection.  I can honestly say that many of the cats I've had have chosen me.  The last one to arrive, Nemo, was sitting on my lawn near the barn, watching me intently when I first met him.  When I noticed him he ran away, then came back.  I fed him and he has never left.  He can leave whenever he wants to.  Even my horses could leave if they chose, if they were really unhappy.  At least two of them are experts at tearing down barbed-wire fencing and unlocking gates.  They could also jump out if they desired.  I mean, the fence is really just a suggestion.  Occasionally they have gotten out, wandered around the neighborhood and came running back when they saw me looking for them.  When we try to ride down the street they are afraid to go past our property...embarrassing but true!

So, we want a connection with these animals, right?  I was going to say especially women and horses, but men often also want to feel connected to their animals.  Snickers and my husband Doug have a special connection that I don't try to interfere with.  I love it, in fact.  I personally love to ride, love to be around the horses, love it when they come running to the fence.  I would like them to like me.  I don't want them to be afraid of me, and I think they want the same from me.  People who are afraid of animals or other people just make us uncomfortable.  When I first got a horse, I wanted to love that horse and vice verse.  I didn't want to make her into a slave, per say. 

Then I gradually got caught up in methods of training, and rough cowboys (not all cowboys are rough), and rough dressage people, and being "more assertive".  I lost my natural gentleness and the connection to my horse Bella.  Other things also contributed to that, like our being apart for way too long and only being able to see her a few times a month when I used to go see her daily.  I had the connection and lost it!

I lost it because I was learning to train horses and fell into some ways of training that are extremely common and can turn very aggressive and rough.  The thing is, no one thinks of them that way.  I think that people are starting to be more aware of things that are rough, but it's a slow process.  When you have an internationally recognized clinician telling you to do something, you believe in the correctness of that tool.  This is how you deal with horses, it's been done this way for years and years and years, how can it be wrong?  If your gold-medal winning dressage instructor tells you to pull back on the reins for all you're worth, and to keep pulling even when nothing good comes of it, and it feels like you're yanking the horse's jaw off, how can you question them?  It feels wrong, but this person has been given a medal by the USDF.  The next day your arms are sore from pulling and you can't help but wonder if the horse's mouth hurts even worse than your arms!

These little moments creep into your mind and build up over the years.  I kept trying new avenues, new instructors, new methods, new styles of riding.  What it comes down to is how the instructor or trainer thinks, or even if they think!  Many trainers learn their method and then go out and teach  that method and train train train that way all their lives without questioning anything!  And then there are those who pretend to be thinking, like a boss I had who said over and over, "I just can't stand dressage because they hold the reins way too tightly.  THAT'S not horsemanship in my mind!"  Then she would "train" a horse by repeating something, literally, 50 times in one session!  I watched her with a horse who wouldn't pick up a right lead.  She worked that horse on leads only for an hour, making her pick it up over and over and over.  It disgusted me.  I said nothing (this was my boss), no support of her or anything.  I felt cornered and sublimated.  I felt like the horse - having to obey and having no say but feeling completely misunderstood and wronged. 

By the time I worked for the boss I just spoke of, I had seen and tried many things that bothered me.  My boss was the final straw.  She never took me seriously (that's partly my own fault and a topic for another day) and talked down to me.  This is how many people approach horse training.  Clinton Anderson often calls the horses names - "idiot" is the first that comes to mind.  I think he is trying to be funny in a way, to make the horse seem less important.  To not let the horse be intimidating by giving him a derogatory name.  In Mr. Anderson's view, horses are nearly an enemy.  Yes, he does give them a nice rub on the forehead at times, but only after extraordinary effort on the horse's behalf.

There are a few, a very few, horse folk who can train a horse without force.  I have been unearthing them slowly over the years.  Nuno Oliveira was seemingly one, though I have yet to see him start a horse.  His writings and what I have seen of his philosophy and riding is all about tact, however, and the way he sits a horse, so still and so graceful, leaves no doubt in my mind that he accomplished much with little interference on his part.  What that means is he is not working hard, not flapping his arms or sweating or tapping away with his spurs or bouncing in the saddle.  He is like a waiter at a fine restaurant who touches you gently on the elbow, "Sir, would you like another drink?" he asks, very politely and quietly.  That is tact in riding - a gentle touch with the leg and spur, a slight wringing of the reins to bring the horse into collection. 

Then there is Frederic Pignon and Magali Delgado of the horse show Cavalia.  They wrote a book about how they train their horses called Galloping to Freedom. It's all about empowerment and play.  There is a very high level of trust between them and their horses.  I assumed by watching the show that the horses were trained to do certain routines.  They are not!  They are trained to express themselves and to interact with Frederic and Magali.  When they go onstage on any given night, they don't really know what will happen.  I find that refreshing and courageous and beautiful.  That is a true connection with a horse, and that is allowing the horse's expression and joy to become evident. 

I am also reading a book called Empowered Horses by Imke Spilker.  It is a bit long winded, but the essence is important.  It is about how to approach riding, keeping and training horses with a different attitude, much like Pignon and Delgado - playing, allowing the horse expression and choice in what is done each day.  It is difficult for me, even wanting to approach things in this way, not to head out to the arena with an agenda.  It is also difficult to figure out how to play with older horses that are so used to me being the "Master".  That old way of being has to be dismantled first, and no one has suggested how to do that yet. I will keep writing about my experiences, though, in hopes that someone else will benefit from that.  However, clicker training was a great start. 

I have to say something here about the clicker.  I still think it's wonderful and a very useful tool.  However, I also think it's important not to use it as a demand or a "have to" thing.  I think it's easy to fall into the trap of "since I am rewarding you, you'd better do this!".  We have to recognize that we can't ask that.  We can only say "please", and I would like to reward you for doing this.  You also have to clicker train with the attitude of communication being the goal more so than the thing you are training.  You must have understanding of the horse and whether or not they are enjoying something.  Even with a reward not all horses will want to do everything you think they should do.  Know when to stop, know when to change what you are doing.  Don't make it boring, or drawn out.  If they are losing interest in the exercise, it's up to you to change something. 

Communication is a two-way street.  If you want to use the clicker to communicate to them, then you should also listen to what they have to say.  They will communicate back, and if you have ever seriously worked with a horse, you know that they do!

All I am saying here is that there should be much more of a place for gentleness in working with horses.  You will accomplish so much more than if you demand for things to happen and your will find that you develop a deeper connection with your horse.

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