Aha! No Problem....
Published by Cari Zancanelli under aha moment, horse training, spiritual development on 9:10 PM
The other day I was driving down I-70 and I had this AHA moment. Just like on Oprah. I'll tell you what it is, and I know that anyone who is on a spiritual journey or has watched Oprah a lot will have heard what I'm about to say. The thing is, that I have too, however this time it kind of sunk in. Like WOW, I get it!
Here's what happened. I was listening to a book and the character in the book was a female judge. She is older, her kids have left and she is having problems with her marriage. I was thinking, "Wow, she should be happy to have a career that she can feel good about and have kids that grew up OK", etc. Right now my "career" isn't really going forward, at least that's what I feel. I have no children of my own, but I have step children which I love. I have no job at all but my marriage is great. I was reflecting on how this character's "problems" with her husband were minor and they could just sit down and work things out, and she really didn't have any problems she was just making them up.
That's when it hit me... she made up her own problems! Now, whether you agree with me that the character made up her problems or not, it was the realization that I was doing the same thing! I have heard, in many different ways and from various people that "we create our own problems". In my mind I took that to mean that the problems themselves are real and it's your fault they exist. Not the same thing at all. No, it's more like you are viewing this as a "problem" and you don't have to.
The difference is, I was getting all upset about something that I really don't have to see as an issue. I wish I was further along in my career, I wish I had done more horse shows and clinics and things like that, but not having any money for that I was lucky to have a horse, much less do anything expensive with her. I have had set-backs in my life which entered right about the time my career started. Horse careers are not like the careers of electrical engineers or software designers or business managers. You have to make your own way and I have always felt that I should be further along, but finding the right teacher has been extremely difficult. I do not want to learn the train horses the traditional way, either in dressage or western. That is a story for another day, however. The point is, I have been beating myself up about where I am in my horse career and I finally realized that I couldn't do much more than I've done due to my circumstances. My only real "problem" is finding the right teacher. I have faith that that person will come along at some point in my future and teach me the things that I have been dying to learn.
Until then, there's no problem. I keep practicing and learning what I can from DVDs and books and from the horses. At least I have horses, at least I have discovered that there is another way, and that there are people who teach it.
I think that many times the things you read about in spiritual books sound plausible, or kind of like common sense. "Oh yes, we create all our own problems..." but truly understanding what that means comes on a different level. You have to somehow put it in perspective in your own head before it means anything to you. I have read many many things that I think make sense only to realize that I didn't understand at all. I couldn't, at that moment, because I wasn't in the right place. Or sometimes it's easy to understand those things about other people, but you can't see it in yourself. I can always find someone who is creating their own problems. So what, that doesn't help me! In a selfish kind of way, it's better to stop looking at how other people do things like that and look at how I do that. The cool thing is when it happens to you and the realization hits you full on and there's no going back. Now you know this and you aren't who you were 20 minutes ago. You have changed with this knowledge because it affects your soul and your knowing on a level that you've never felt before. And there are no problems!
Here's what happened. I was listening to a book and the character in the book was a female judge. She is older, her kids have left and she is having problems with her marriage. I was thinking, "Wow, she should be happy to have a career that she can feel good about and have kids that grew up OK", etc. Right now my "career" isn't really going forward, at least that's what I feel. I have no children of my own, but I have step children which I love. I have no job at all but my marriage is great. I was reflecting on how this character's "problems" with her husband were minor and they could just sit down and work things out, and she really didn't have any problems she was just making them up.
That's when it hit me... she made up her own problems! Now, whether you agree with me that the character made up her problems or not, it was the realization that I was doing the same thing! I have heard, in many different ways and from various people that "we create our own problems". In my mind I took that to mean that the problems themselves are real and it's your fault they exist. Not the same thing at all. No, it's more like you are viewing this as a "problem" and you don't have to.
The difference is, I was getting all upset about something that I really don't have to see as an issue. I wish I was further along in my career, I wish I had done more horse shows and clinics and things like that, but not having any money for that I was lucky to have a horse, much less do anything expensive with her. I have had set-backs in my life which entered right about the time my career started. Horse careers are not like the careers of electrical engineers or software designers or business managers. You have to make your own way and I have always felt that I should be further along, but finding the right teacher has been extremely difficult. I do not want to learn the train horses the traditional way, either in dressage or western. That is a story for another day, however. The point is, I have been beating myself up about where I am in my horse career and I finally realized that I couldn't do much more than I've done due to my circumstances. My only real "problem" is finding the right teacher. I have faith that that person will come along at some point in my future and teach me the things that I have been dying to learn.
Until then, there's no problem. I keep practicing and learning what I can from DVDs and books and from the horses. At least I have horses, at least I have discovered that there is another way, and that there are people who teach it.
I think that many times the things you read about in spiritual books sound plausible, or kind of like common sense. "Oh yes, we create all our own problems..." but truly understanding what that means comes on a different level. You have to somehow put it in perspective in your own head before it means anything to you. I have read many many things that I think make sense only to realize that I didn't understand at all. I couldn't, at that moment, because I wasn't in the right place. Or sometimes it's easy to understand those things about other people, but you can't see it in yourself. I can always find someone who is creating their own problems. So what, that doesn't help me! In a selfish kind of way, it's better to stop looking at how other people do things like that and look at how I do that. The cool thing is when it happens to you and the realization hits you full on and there's no going back. Now you know this and you aren't who you were 20 minutes ago. You have changed with this knowledge because it affects your soul and your knowing on a level that you've never felt before. And there are no problems!
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