Everything Comes Together
Published by Cari Zancanelli under empowered horses, horse training, spirituality on 6:26 PM
I have been struggling, for oh so long, with being a horse trainer. Unlike so many people I didn't have the money to go to Germany, or spend my summers with so-and-so famous trainer cowboy, or even to pay to go to clinics. I've had to scrounge and learn from the people I had access to. Since I don't have a "facility", a nice place to give lessons, I go to other people's properties to teach. It has been, for the most part, an on-the-side kind of business. I've always wanted to be more, to be able to show and to further my education as far as training and horses in general. I wanted to have more of a name for myself and to be able to support myself on my horse business.
Along the way, many things happened that kept me from realizing my dream. What exactly happened isn't important, but for one reason or another I never got to the level I wanted to and at my age I was feeling regretful of that. I have never stopped looking for a way to find a mentor, to find someone nearby to work with, but the folks I've run in to just weren't what I was looking for. The more I kept looking at different training "methods", the more I didn't like what I found. Clicker training was the first glimmer through the mess of horse training methods. But I like to keep an open mind and so I kept reading any horse training book that seemed different. I've already written about the books I've read, namely "Empowered Horses" by Imke Spilker.
Finally I've reached a point where I feel like there was a purpose behind the procrastination and the missed opportunities. It was leading me here, to this point in my life, to a point where I can accept that I'm not a trainer and teacher of all kinds of people and actually be thankful for that! Being a trainer on the level I thought I should be at requires absolute faith and belief that what you are doing is the right way. I have really never felt that way, obviously, since I have continued to search. I'm thankful for that little voice inside me that says "keep looking, this isn't it".
So, I think this is it. This is it because it requires me to not be in the public eye, or to be teaching all kinds of people, or to have a line of training DVDs. Once you commit to a way, it's very hard to change your mind and be convincing to your audience, especially after they have bought all your products. Instead, I feel like I've arrived, that I am "home". I am free to do what I want with my horses (or, rather, they are free to do what they want and perhaps we can do somethings together), which also means not having to train them relentlessly on a strict schedule. I had so much guilt and stress trying to find the time to work with them the "way you are supposed to". I enjoyed clicker training and will probably keep doing that in part. I'm not going back to the more traditional methods, though. There has been a mental switch that prevents me from treating horses the way I used to. I can't do it anymore!
That doesn't mean that I don't want to be with them, spend time, "work" with them. It means I am done spending every minute with them "in training". I'm ready to enjoy them, make friends and have some fun!
Finally, I am at peace. I feel like my search for a way to interact with my horses is done. I am at peace with my horses and that finally, finally I can work on the thing I always wanted to work on - having a relationship with them. That's what this was all about, how to reach them, how to get closer to them. Making money at it kind of ruins that. I was never really that good at the career portion anyway, and it seems like I was never meant for that (I'm actually a shy person, though I do love to teach riding). I've accepted it, I've accepted me, and I accept my horses the way they are. Perhaps I will teach a few lessons the way I always have, a few folks at a time. It's so much more meaningful and rewarding that way.
I sincerely hope that whoever reads this finds their own way with their horses and takes the time to look outside the box once in a awhile. You may be surprised at what you find...
Along the way, many things happened that kept me from realizing my dream. What exactly happened isn't important, but for one reason or another I never got to the level I wanted to and at my age I was feeling regretful of that. I have never stopped looking for a way to find a mentor, to find someone nearby to work with, but the folks I've run in to just weren't what I was looking for. The more I kept looking at different training "methods", the more I didn't like what I found. Clicker training was the first glimmer through the mess of horse training methods. But I like to keep an open mind and so I kept reading any horse training book that seemed different. I've already written about the books I've read, namely "Empowered Horses" by Imke Spilker.
Finally I've reached a point where I feel like there was a purpose behind the procrastination and the missed opportunities. It was leading me here, to this point in my life, to a point where I can accept that I'm not a trainer and teacher of all kinds of people and actually be thankful for that! Being a trainer on the level I thought I should be at requires absolute faith and belief that what you are doing is the right way. I have really never felt that way, obviously, since I have continued to search. I'm thankful for that little voice inside me that says "keep looking, this isn't it".
So, I think this is it. This is it because it requires me to not be in the public eye, or to be teaching all kinds of people, or to have a line of training DVDs. Once you commit to a way, it's very hard to change your mind and be convincing to your audience, especially after they have bought all your products. Instead, I feel like I've arrived, that I am "home". I am free to do what I want with my horses (or, rather, they are free to do what they want and perhaps we can do somethings together), which also means not having to train them relentlessly on a strict schedule. I had so much guilt and stress trying to find the time to work with them the "way you are supposed to". I enjoyed clicker training and will probably keep doing that in part. I'm not going back to the more traditional methods, though. There has been a mental switch that prevents me from treating horses the way I used to. I can't do it anymore!
That doesn't mean that I don't want to be with them, spend time, "work" with them. It means I am done spending every minute with them "in training". I'm ready to enjoy them, make friends and have some fun!
Finally, I am at peace. I feel like my search for a way to interact with my horses is done. I am at peace with my horses and that finally, finally I can work on the thing I always wanted to work on - having a relationship with them. That's what this was all about, how to reach them, how to get closer to them. Making money at it kind of ruins that. I was never really that good at the career portion anyway, and it seems like I was never meant for that (I'm actually a shy person, though I do love to teach riding). I've accepted it, I've accepted me, and I accept my horses the way they are. Perhaps I will teach a few lessons the way I always have, a few folks at a time. It's so much more meaningful and rewarding that way.
I sincerely hope that whoever reads this finds their own way with their horses and takes the time to look outside the box once in a awhile. You may be surprised at what you find...
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