Grace Under Pressure

If anything describes horsemanship it is the words "grace under pressure".   The ability to ride any horse, under any conditions and make it look easy is what I would call grace under pressure.  The best riders and trainers remain calm, un-flustered when things go wrong.  When the horse bucks, spooks, forgets something, over-reacts, under-reacts, whatever can go wrong a true rider can handle it and not let it ruin his/her disposition.

I was reading a book called In Search of Captain Zero by Allan Weisbecker. Essentially it is a book about a serious surfer - not the pro-surfer type, the gypsy globe trotting kind.  Looking for the perfect wave, the perfect place, etc.  If you aren't familiar, surfers can be serious hobbyists, taking their sport to heart like other people take religion to heart.  It can be a spiritual, intellectual and athletic undertaking to surf waves all over the world.  What does this have to do with horses? 

There was a part in the book where the author was talking about how sometimes when surfing the "I" dissolves and melds into the wave, you become part of the movement and the moment.  The same thing happens in riding too.  If you have ridden a horse to the point where it  is moving effortlessly under you, responding to your cues to the lightest touch or sometimes with barely a thought then you know what I mean.  It's when everything comes together - the weather, the horse and you to create this moment where riding the horse is spiritual, you lose the sense of dominating the horse and instead know that your desires are your horse's desires. 

In training you constantly struggle to get the horse to follow your agenda.  There really is no nice way to say it - unlike surfing, the horse needs to be molded to our goals.  They have a personality and an agenda of their own.  The younger the horse when it's started the easier it is to convince that it should go along with you.  My horses were all older when they were trained, for various reasons.  Most of them are still deep in the process.  Snickers was 12 when we got him, and convincing him to go along with my wants is sometimes not easy.  Angel was 9 and had very little formal training.  She only knew that if you squeezed with your right leg she should trot.  Pulling back on the reins meant stop.  And she kind of neck reined.  Both of them were stiff, fell in and out on circles, went their own direction and speed but were otherwise pretty mellow horses. 

It has been a joy to see them grow into well-mannered and trained horses.  They are ridden in the pasture - we have no arena, so they have to deal with ditches, small trees and clumps of grass.  They used to trip a lot.  They had never had a bit, just a hackamore and so I put them in a bit for the first time. They pulled and rooted the reins out of my hands, wouldn't listen.  Over time Angel especially has become a wonderful horse to ride.  She has a smooth trot that blossomed into a wonderful floating trot.  She learned her leads in a week, she can side pass and do shoulder-in.  In short, she became a cooperative and willing partner and a joy to ride.  She looks forward to learning new things instead of fighting me.  I had to figure out how to get her to like what she did, and what worked absolutely the best was clicker training. 

Finally, one day I was riding her at sunset after a solid week of working her daily.  Suddenly everything came together - I could feel her listening, ready to do anything I asked.  She was flexible and fit.  We could canter without drifting to the left, or charging.  Her tail never swished with irritation like it used to, she didn't balk or rear up or object.  That's a lot of "nots" and "didn'ts"... But Angel had become an angel.  She had become more than either of us thought she could be - she was beautiful and strong.  She was athletic and powerful and graceful. 

When the horse is finally light, and strong and flexible and knows all the cues, that's when "horse" and "rider" become a team and the "dissolution of the I" occurs.  It doesn't matter what kind of riding you do, this is always true.  You can tell when a particular horse and rider lacks in this area because instead of constantly improving they actually start to regress.  The horse develops it's own reaction to cues that are incorrect, or it becomes lame more and more often.  It gets sour and won't perform.  I am thinking of a particular horse and rider.  The horse was purchased for a large price from an excellent trainer.  It had a wonderful pedigree and a disposition to please.  Anyone could have ridden that horse and it would do what was asked.  This rider competed on it and it gradually became sour, unwilling.  It wouldn't do things correctly.  It became lame after shows.  In my opinion, the rider lacked compassion and the ability to bring the horse along.  They lacked patience with themselves most of all, and it came out in their riding. 

Riding well is about losing your ego even while having the self-confidence to be a leader for the horse.  The horse functions as a mirror for the rider, showing us our flaws.  Many many great riders and trainers have remarked on this fact, it is something that you can't help but come across if you do any research into horsemanship.  To me it is unfortunate to change such a great horse as this person had, but they also missed the opportunity to learn about themselves.  It is easy to put people down, to bad mouth them and make fun of their flaws.  It is better to learn from them, to look at what's happening to their horse and make sure it isn't happening to your horse.  What affect are you having?  Does your horse like to be ridden?  Is it getting lame or sour?  Is it getting and staying flexible?  Do you have those moments where riding is effortless, where you feel like you are one with your horse? 

Making a great horse is also making yourself be the best you can be.  Surfers have a much smaller margin of error.  If they aren't aware, if they don't bend to conditions and gather their courage for the monster waves, they could wipe-out or even die.  Riders can also put themselves in danger, for sure, but it's different.  The number of horses that are truly that dangerous are very small.  And because the horse is a living being, I believe that we usually have the chance to reach it's mind.  Waves ask for no compassion and give none.  The wave forces you to face yourself over and over.  The bigger the surf the more this is true.  This is where the "dissolution of the I" happens.  In riding, you face yourself in a more subtle way.  You have to look, to watch the horse to see your mistakes.  Once the horse is well-trained, it creates the mirror for you and begins to reflect the rider's flaws. 

Some people like to ride on a purely recreational level, and I understand that.  Not everyone practices riding like I do, or top level riders do (I am not a top-level rider but if I had the means I would go for it).   But if you do, there is so much joy and incredible oneness that can be achieved with the horse.  When you work hard and are honest with yourself, it becomes as much for you as for the horse.  Your agenda and the horse's agenda are the same, your ability matches the horse, you are improving each other and you are growing. That, to me, is what the purpose of riding is.

This week some friends came up, two teenage girls and a mom.  They wanted to ride the horses which I enthusiastically encouraged. One girl thought she could handle anything and had ridden before, the other one had never been around horses but had an interest (not the 'horse crazy' variety), and the mom loves horses but hadn't ridden since she was a girl. 

My initial feeling was that the situation could turn bad with the two girls pretty quickly, so I was maintaining heavy control from the start.  I had confidence in my horses, Snickers and Angel, as I had been schooling them fairly regularly and had plenty of notice that everyone was coming to ride.

Here is how things turned out:

Fearless teen rode first on Snickers.  She was a good rider though not particularly knowledgeable. She was confident, though, made even more so by the presence of the other girl who was very shy.  After a bit of instruction she was off and running, confidently riding out his giant trot across the pasture.  I put the other girl on Angel with a lunge line.  She was not too sure of all this but after about 20 minutes she agreed to try walking around off the lunge line.  It went well until I sent her towards the fence.  When she got to the fence and turned around, Angel started trotting for home.  I was able to talk her down and got her to stop Angel before things got dangerous but it scared her.  She wasn't really enjoying it much.

Then I put the mom on Angel and she did really well, but  Angel was nervous and too quick.  I could tell that she was somewhat confused by the beginners and didn't feel comfortable.  With some instruction the mom was able to have a good ride on her and did a really good job of listening to me and doing what I said.  Whew!  Since the second girl wasn't feeling confident I didn't have to worry about the two girls galloping across the pasture and getting dumped somewhere while I yell "slow down" to no avail...

All of this reminded me of a few things.  One, that riding takes skill, actually skillS.  There are so many things you must do at once to make it appear smooth, regular and in control.  Even more skills to do the turns, shoulder-ins, etc.  Plus our pasture is dotted with small trees, about knee-high making riding a challenge at times. And ditches, yes, lots of small ditches and long grass, and POOP.  I suddenly realized that although I enjoy riding Angel and Snickers, it actually takes a lot of riding to get them to do what I want.  I am always comparing them to last week, last month, last year.  They keep improving but not enough for a beginner to feel comfortable on. 

In my mind, since Angel isn't rearing straight up and Snickers isn't turning back to the barn every other stride (I am NOT exaggerating!) that they are REALLY GOOD.  So this weekend was a wake-up call for me and for them too.  I think my horses appreciate me more now... I hope. 

The other thing I realized is that I am better than I think sometimes.  It's easy to get down on yourself, especially if you don't compete.  I have no way of knowing how far I've come since I can't take lessons right now.  I can't afford to compete, either, and these two facts tend to lead me to believe that I am not very good.  Or that I am becoming a bad rider...with bad habits.  This weekend I learned that I make two very green horses look good and that's not easy to do.  Although I would like my horses to be able to be ridden by anyone, I realize that it takes time for them to feel confident in themselves so that can happen. 

To everyone who has ridden for a long time, pat yourself on the back.  You are probably far better than you realize!

As I get older I find that sometimes the drive to ride and train...falls off a bit.  Especially if I havent' been able to ride or work with them for awhile I feel guilty, which then has the weird effect of taking away my impetus to ride.  It should have the opposite effect, shouldn't it? 

In the past month, though, inspiration hit me in spades.  Here is the strange part: I have been trying to tell my husband, Doug, for weeks that I have lost my drive and feel like I haven't accomplished anything in my riding, and since we live in a godforsaken rural area there are no dressage instructors, etc., etc.  Finally I got him to listen and I voiced all my angst. The horses are sorely in need of training and regular riding.  I am out of work, so time is no longer a problem, I only have the weather to get in the way yet I had trouble getting out there and really going at it. 

Then, after I voiced my feelings, three things happened that changed everything.   First I started giving riding lessons to an 11 year old girl that visits my neighbor's house.  They bought a horse for her, a very sweet old ex-jumper named Charlie.  Charlie has wandered over to our house for visits on occasion so I got to know him well.  In any case, this little girl is horse crazy and brimming with all that lovely courage that comes with riding.  She fell off when he stopped suddenly and hopped right back on, no fear at all.  She rode him every morning and then I would come over and give her a lesson.  She reminded me that I am so lucky to have my own horses and that it is a privilege to ride every day.  She brought out the 11-year old horse crazy girl in me.  After she left I went out and rode every day.

Then I read about a woman in the May issue of Oprah magazine.  There was a piece on women who were old for their activities and one of them was this fabulous 60 year old barrel racer from Hawaii.  In the photo she is standing on the back of her horse with her long grey hair in braids and she's smiling big.  She got into riding at 45 or there about and said that she just "rode, rode, rode" her horse all the time.  She competes for fun, for something to do. 

After reading that I scolded myself for being too caught up in my age and my (lack of )  accomplishments.  It's more important to DO IT than anything else.  With riding the process is what counts, as it is with training.  Doing it every day is the most important thing, and the improvements will happen. 

The third inspiration was even more wonderful and unusual.  I will save the full story for later, but I found out there is an FEI level rider only an hour away named Anita Williams.  I am going to meet her on Monday!  She's going to allow me to be a working student. 

This week, before the rain started, I rode and rode and rode.  And Angel lost weight...for the first time in 3 years!  And she also learned her canter leads, at 11 years old! 



Angel this week - note the crest on her neck is now a slight bump.  We are working on muscles for the hind end...



Taken about a year ago - here you can see how cresty she was!  She also wants you to know
 that she is "large boned"and being covered in white fur is NOT slimming in the least!