Selling Out

Selling Out

I believe that all situations provide a chance to learn, either about ourselves or our horses.  Yesterday I learned a lot. Yesterday, for the first time in my life, I sold one of my horses.  Prior to this I had only returned one to the BLM and had to put down my old horse which is to be expected.

I never thought I'd have the courage to sell a horse.  It's only something I would do in an extreme situation, I thought.  I truly love all my horses, including Tequila, the horse I sold. If you follow this blog you know that she was up for sale and probably read about her.  I have had her for ten years, how could I let her go?

Here it is: one thing this taught me was that even with the best of intentions we get caught up in our ego and pride often takes over.  I constantly told myself that I needed to finish her training, get her going, etc. But things kept interfering.  We were both caught in circumstances not of our choosing.  Tequila never got the time from me she deserved.  I felt guilty, which brought a sense of urgency to the training.  "I need to get this done!  I have to ride her NOW".  It's difficult to have patience under those conditions - I gave myself too much pressure. Then  I put it on her - she  had to perform well for me.  When she didn't, when she got nervous I got frustrated.  It only made things worse. 

When we moved out of our house in Rifle, losing our pasture and facing the fact of having to board five horses, we took an honest look at them.  I knew that the broke horses would sell more quickly and so I bravely suggested selling Angel and Snickers.  My husband kept silent, for many weeks.  Finally he said, "I think we should sell Tequila." At first I thought "NO! She isn't finished!" Then I really thought about it.  We both really enjoy our other horses.  In spite of their beginnings, Angel and Snickers fit us and our lifestyle. They are easy and a pleasure to work with.  Since my new job will take a lot of time, I know that I can be productive with them in the short time I will have with them this summer.  I can also make time for Luna, who really needs me.

So, with a clear conscience we put Tequila up for sale.  It wasn't that easy, though.  It's hard to let go of something that you have worked on for so long.  Yet it is also letting go of a burden that you have had for too long.  She always hung over my head and all this time I felt guilty.  It actually feels good to turn her over to someone else.  

Here is what happened yesterday.  A young couple showed up to look at her and since she was to be the husband's horse, he took the lead.  He started trying to bond with her right away.  He spent a good two and a half hours with her, riding her in the round pen and out and about.  At one point he fell off because the saddle slipped and she freaked out.  He had patience though and as I watched them together I saw that she was wanting to trust him but really tested him too.   At one point I tried to step in and help him with her and Tequila gave me this look that said "Butt out, Mom.  This is my thing."  

Doug having a talk with Tequila

So I stepped way back and watched someone else take over.  I saw his patience, I saw how she tried things and when they were ignored or caused no reaction she relaxed.  His confidence gave her strength and although she acted really badly yesterday I think it made him want to take her and work with her.  They knew that they were buying a cheap horse and why she was cheap and accepted that. 

In the end I was so pleased with everything.  She found the right home and I felt good about letting someone else take over.  As I made the long drive back to Grand Junction, I realized that the guilt was gone.  Tequila had let me know she agreed with the situation, too.  Everything is right and never in a million years did I think it would turn out this way.