Quiet Persistence

 Expressions...

Snickers

Luna

I have been reading a book called "Beyond the Dream Horse - A Revealing Perspective on Attaining a True Relationship" by Michael Bevilacqua.  The book is about working with horses in an empowered manner and using positive reinforcement, although it's mainly about his journey to this point in working with horses.  

BJ

Usually when I read books like this I feel jealous of the person and have difficulty reading the entire book.  They usually seem so confident and all-knowing and it makes me feel...small. This book, however, is different.  Though I'm not nearly finished with it, I have already traveled this path. I've been here before.  The things he describes I've felt at various times and those feelings led me here - to a seemingly cold and lonely place. It's nice to know that I'm not alone.  I highly, highly recommend this book to all horse people.  

Luna

Angel

He talks a lot about the way the horses looked at him when he did various common training techniques.  This is what stopped me from continuing down that path, too.  Thankfully, living with my horses at home for the very first time removed the judgement that comes from boarding them and being watched by the other people there. I was free to try whatever I wanted and to do things my own way.  Now that they are boarded at this pasture I find myself considering changing how I do things.  NO!  God no, it's so important that I DO NOT do this!  

Tequila

I also just finished reading "Quiet" by Susan Cain.  It's about introverts and how we try to make our way in an extroverted world.  I think the horse world is completely extroverted, but then I remind myself that introverts have no desire for the spot light, and so what you see are heavily marketed extrovert trainers that take little time to reflect on anything.  They are all about action and results.  They rarely innovate, although they would have you believe that everything they come up with is all new.  It NEVER is!  Even this other way of being with horses really isn't new, it's just pushed aside for something more obvious and easily sold to the public.  It's difficult to sell empowerment, because most people don't want that kind of responsibility.  


Early on I found myself shying away from that world.  The thought of having to make my way in some huge barn focused on income and shows makes my stomach heave.  That kind of atmosphere sucks all the marrow out of working with horses in any meaningful way. To me, it's about the relationship, not about showing off. 

Angel

Jesse - One of the most communicative horses I have ever known.
This picture doesn't do him justice!

In "Quiet" Cain talks about Gandhi's theory of non-violence, what he called "quiet persistence".  I don't mean this in the sense of asking the horse for something over and over again - with an eye on the results.  I mean it in terms of a relationship, of trying to reach that point of understanding, of not knowing how it will happen, but believing completely that it will.  

In spite of my feeble attempts, I know in my heart that when I go out to the horses and look them in the eye that they want this as much as I do.  When we had to leave them there my husband was so sad.  In his heart he believes the same thing.  The way they look at us communicates so much.  I think some of the photos taken of them over the past few years reveals some of those expressions.  It is painful to be separated from them for so long.  They are more than transportation or animals for showing, they are a part of our lives.  

Luna

Tequila

If the relationship with your horse is more important than competing and winning, more than just a creature to ride, read Bevilaqua's book.  I also recommend Imke Spilker's book "Empowered Horses".  Both books can give direction as to how to approach your horse in a new way.  My advice is to open your mind, believe in an alternate possibility and observe what happens when you groom your horse, tack them up, ride them, train them.  
Unlike every other training method and trainer, this time you have only yourself and your horse to rely on.  

Luna and I

When you put aside all the "shoulds" and "methods" and ideas about what everyone else thinks is right (including this idea itself),
What's left?  Just you and your horse.  What feels right? What doesn't?  That's all.  


See what happens.
See what happens?

Doug and Snickers

Bella, my "little Buddha"

Snickers, Doug and Luna - note the body language going on...