The other day I was driving down I-70 and I had this AHA moment.  Just like on Oprah.  I'll tell you what it is, and I know that anyone who is on a spiritual journey or has watched Oprah a lot will have heard what I'm about to say.  The thing is, that I have too, however this time it kind of sunk in.  Like WOW,  I get it! 

Here's what happened.  I was listening to a book and the character in the book was a  female judge.  She is older, her kids have left and she is having problems with her marriage.  I was thinking, "Wow, she should be happy to have a career that she can feel good about and have kids that grew up OK", etc.  Right now my "career" isn't really going forward, at least that's what I feel.  I have no children of my own, but I have step children which I love.  I have no job at all but my marriage is great.   I was reflecting on how this character's "problems" with her husband were minor and they could just sit down and work things out, and she really didn't have any problems she was just making them up. 

That's when it hit me... she made up her own problems!   Now, whether you agree with me that the character made up her problems or not, it was the realization that I was doing the same thing!  I have heard, in many different ways and from various people that "we create our own problems".  In my mind I took that to mean that the problems themselves are real and it's your fault they exist.  Not the same thing at all.  No, it's more like you are viewing this as a "problem" and you don't have to.

The difference is, I was getting all upset about something that I really don't have to see as an issue.  I wish I was further along in my career, I wish I had done more horse shows and clinics and things like that, but not having any money for that I was lucky to have a horse, much less do anything expensive with her.  I have had set-backs in my life which entered right about the time my career started.  Horse careers are not like the careers of electrical engineers or software designers or business managers.  You have to make your own way and I have always felt that I should be further along, but finding the right teacher has been extremely difficult.  I do not want to learn the train horses the traditional way, either in dressage or western.  That is a story for another day, however.  The point is, I have been beating myself up about where I am in my horse career and I finally realized that I couldn't do much more than I've done due to my circumstances.  My only real "problem" is finding the right teacher.  I have faith that that person will come along at some point in my future and teach me the things that I have been dying to learn. 

Until then, there's no problem.  I keep practicing and learning what I can from DVDs and books and from the horses.  At least I have horses, at least I have discovered that there is another way, and that there are people who teach it. 

I think that many times the things you read about in spiritual books sound plausible, or kind of like common sense.  "Oh yes, we create all our own problems..." but truly understanding what that means comes on a different level.  You have to somehow put it in perspective in your own head before it means anything to you.  I have read many many things that I think make sense only to realize that I didn't understand at all.  I couldn't, at that moment, because I wasn't in the right place.  Or sometimes it's easy to understand those things about other people, but you can't see it in yourself.  I can always find someone who is creating their own problems.  So what, that doesn't help me!  In a selfish kind of way, it's better to stop looking at how other people do things like that and look at how I do that.  The cool thing is when it happens to you and the realization hits you full on and there's no going back.  Now you know this and you aren't who you were 20 minutes ago.  You have changed with this knowledge because it affects your soul and your knowing on a level that you've never felt before.  And there are no problems!

Finally, I am writing about the thing that I have been trying to write about for a long time.  I have no idea why it has taken me this long to write any of this.  I guess I felt that an explanation was needed, a history of how I arrived at this end.  Maybe it's just because so many horse people around me are of the opposite feeling about how to train horses that the tendency to defend my views becomes more important than the facts. 

In reality it's very simple;  I am tired of being something I'm not.  I am not overly assertive, aggressive or hard.  I don't like the "do this now" school of horse training.  I have expressed my respect for Clinton Anderson, but in reality his method of training is more like a battle.  Actually it's more like boot camp for horses.  The things he says to them (which I can't remember offhand but he said things like "he's a monster" or something similar) are always negative.  He is always having to protect himself because the horse might do something to harm him.  I finally wondered - why?  Horses can hurt you, it's true, however since I changed my training methods I have only had cooperation and have never felt safer. 

Horses are flighty and young horses spook and are afraid of things, for sure.  In my world this is where the danger lies.  If you are working with your horse in a positive way, in a way that they enjoy, the danger of them coming after you or striking out is very low.  They have begun to understand what I am asking for.  They have started to ask for training time, not to avoid it.  They get upset when I don't work with them.  We have fun!  I am trying to get them to "play", to spend time together with me that is purely time just to "be".       Some of you will scoff right here and sign off.  I dare you to keep reading.  I dare you to reconsider how you look at your horses and how you train them. 

So many people want a relationship with their horses, not the least because many horse owners are women and women crave connection.  I think men also crave a connection but they don't talk about it.  Then there are men like Nuno Oliveira.  For everyone who follows a western style clinician, for everyone who believes that dressage must be done with a tight rein (or a tight contact), for everyone who is constantly fighting with their horse to accomplish things, please look up Nuno Oliveira.  There are others, but the way he rides is such a pleasure to watch it will move you.  If you belong to Giddyupflix.com you can rent several DVDs about him that show him riding.  Sadly, he has passed away as has his son, Joao who was also very good. 

These videos inspire me and show that the ultimate is possible - riding a horse as an art form.  Not as a submissive, obedient soldier who acts without brilliance but a horse that dances with it's own joy.  The horses he rides float effortlessly, dancing in piaffe and passage with true action.  They pick their feet up in rhythm and grace.  They make the last  Olympic competitors look dull and mechanical.  I'm sure that there are other horse people out there that have noticed the lack of true grace in those "German" trained dressage horses.  It's not pretty to watch because it's too labored.

I recently watched the DVD "Nuno Oliveira - 20 Years Later".  I have watched it several times now and have taken notes.  I have also just read Galloping to Freedom" by Magali Delgado and Frederic Pignon which advocates "empowered horsemanship".  I feel as if I have finally come home to the training I've always wanted to do.  The kind of training that brings pleasure to the horse and the rider.  The kind of training that allows the horse to be all he can be. 

I took copious notes, and combined with clicker training I have tried to implement the things I've learned.  It's difficult to find one's way without a teacher so I improvise.  I hope to find someone to teach me this kind of riding...there are a few of them out there, I know, just not in Colorado.   In any case, my goal is to ride in lightness, Le Legerte, as they call it.  Phillipe Karl and several other Europeans teach this, and someone back east.  It is the "French school of lightness" and it stems from Baucher, the shunned Master.  His name is like a bad word among the German method proponents.  When I first read about him and tried to find a teacher, a local woman urged me to come to her barn to discuss things.  She was rude, abrasive and a horrible teacher.  Needless to say she completely disagreed with me.  That only made me want to learn it more.

Now I feel my way, using the horses as my teachers.  I have started over with Angel and Snickers, using as light of a cue as I can to get a response.  The aids should get lighter and lighter Oliveira says, and that makes sense.  If you find that your cues are getting stronger and stronger, then there is a problem! 

So, here is what has happened so far.  Angel has reacted very well and I am able to use very little rein to get her to stop, back and bend.  I have also begun to pay attention to my leg cues, to be as soft as I can and get a response and to use them less each time.  And it works!  She responds to so much less than I ever realized!  It feels so much easier, effortless.  I feel like a Master (I know very well I am not, but to give you an idea of the response from her). 

Snickers, however, has been fed up with me for a long time, I now realize.  He hates the bit (he was in a hackamore as was Angel when we got him).  There have been some problems with bridling him and he has been very difficult to bridle when there's a bit.  It takes him awhile to allow it in his mouth.  Twice I have ridden him "the new way", and twice it has been a bit frustrating.  I am being patient, however.  It's only fair that he expresses himself now that he is allowed.  He hates turning left, and if you so much as pull the rein to the left, lightly or not, he pulls hard right.  Using a very light touch and the clicker I think I have made headway.  I need to convince him that I won't pull hard on him anymore.  In the past when I ride him I spend the first 15 minutes fighting with him, trying to get him to go straight and respond to the bit.  I have to pull very hard and be very insistent. 

Until he develops trust in me we will keep going in circles to the right for awhile.  I can't say that I blame him, though.  I have tried many methods on him, including the "Clinton" methods.  He didn't respond - at all.  He is very smart and craves a relationship where he is seen in all his intelligence and glory.   I understand that now and I see him acting in a very different way already.  I have a lot of hope and I am willing to be patient.

I also worked with Tequila.  I have worked all five of my horses with the clicker for about 8 weeks solid, doing nothing but ground work with the clicker.  They really enjoyed this and began to show me a new side of themselves.  Tequila has always been kind of rebellious and strong.  She is the kind of horse that the average western trainer would say needed lots of correction.  She is a bad girl, they think.  But she also has a soft side - she likes to give hugs, she likes attention.  She likes being touched in the right way...  she get irritated when she isn't handled with confidence.  When being saddled she moves away just as you reach for the girth.  She is hard to mount because she gets nervous and again moves away.  Riding her was, to put it honestly, a pain in the butt.  Once on she would trot very fast and not listen to the bit at all.  Trainers say that these things disappear when you start riding them.  But they really didn't.

So I started over with the clicker.  The more we worked on the ground the calmer she got . She still has days where she is apparently "PMS-ing" and is kind of nasty.  But the other day I got her out, groomed her, got her relaxed and put on the saddle with very little trouble.  I mounted her with only a little trouble.  I rode her in the pen, not in the pasture, and this seemed to calm her.  I could get on and let her run as much as she wanted without putting any pressure on the reins. She began to walk much sooner than usual.  I used only the lightest pressure that would get a response, and she responded.  She was relaxed, she listened and she was calm.  I loved every minute!

All I can say is that I feel safer, my horses are so much happier and the response is wonderful.  It works and it gets me closer to the goal of riding in lightness.  The next challenge is to get Angel to carry herself...

If you read this far, thank you!  If you still don't believe what I'm telling you, think about it, try it, and do some research.