As I get older I find that sometimes the drive to ride and train...falls off a bit.  Especially if I havent' been able to ride or work with them for awhile I feel guilty, which then has the weird effect of taking away my impetus to ride.  It should have the opposite effect, shouldn't it? 

In the past month, though, inspiration hit me in spades.  Here is the strange part: I have been trying to tell my husband, Doug, for weeks that I have lost my drive and feel like I haven't accomplished anything in my riding, and since we live in a godforsaken rural area there are no dressage instructors, etc., etc.  Finally I got him to listen and I voiced all my angst. The horses are sorely in need of training and regular riding.  I am out of work, so time is no longer a problem, I only have the weather to get in the way yet I had trouble getting out there and really going at it. 

Then, after I voiced my feelings, three things happened that changed everything.   First I started giving riding lessons to an 11 year old girl that visits my neighbor's house.  They bought a horse for her, a very sweet old ex-jumper named Charlie.  Charlie has wandered over to our house for visits on occasion so I got to know him well.  In any case, this little girl is horse crazy and brimming with all that lovely courage that comes with riding.  She fell off when he stopped suddenly and hopped right back on, no fear at all.  She rode him every morning and then I would come over and give her a lesson.  She reminded me that I am so lucky to have my own horses and that it is a privilege to ride every day.  She brought out the 11-year old horse crazy girl in me.  After she left I went out and rode every day.

Then I read about a woman in the May issue of Oprah magazine.  There was a piece on women who were old for their activities and one of them was this fabulous 60 year old barrel racer from Hawaii.  In the photo she is standing on the back of her horse with her long grey hair in braids and she's smiling big.  She got into riding at 45 or there about and said that she just "rode, rode, rode" her horse all the time.  She competes for fun, for something to do. 

After reading that I scolded myself for being too caught up in my age and my (lack of )  accomplishments.  It's more important to DO IT than anything else.  With riding the process is what counts, as it is with training.  Doing it every day is the most important thing, and the improvements will happen. 

The third inspiration was even more wonderful and unusual.  I will save the full story for later, but I found out there is an FEI level rider only an hour away named Anita Williams.  I am going to meet her on Monday!  She's going to allow me to be a working student. 

This week, before the rain started, I rode and rode and rode.  And Angel lost weight...for the first time in 3 years!  And she also learned her canter leads, at 11 years old! 



Angel this week - note the crest on her neck is now a slight bump.  We are working on muscles for the hind end...



Taken about a year ago - here you can see how cresty she was!  She also wants you to know
 that she is "large boned"and being covered in white fur is NOT slimming in the least!

No, didn't fall off the edge of the earth!  March was a tough month.  After the loss of BJ we got more bad news (a friend's father committed suicide) and I lost all desire to do anything.  Then we went to San Diego for a week which was at once wonderful and awful.  Won't go in to the awful part... I had hoped to blog on the road and more negative issues made it impossible. So, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

As someone who recently became enamoured with clicker training I must say that visiting Sea World was awesome!  I haven't broached the subject here yet, but basically clicker training for horses is the same method that is used to train dolphins and other exotic animals.  When training aquatic animals or even fish, one cannot use coercion, which I feel is often used to train horses.  You simply cannot force a dolphin, killer whale, etc, to do something it doesn't want to do - it will just swim away.  Even if contained in a pool, there is no way to get that animal to do anything you want using punishment.  The only way is to use positive reinforcement training. 

This type of method uses a sound (or lights or some other reinforcer) such as a whistle for dolphins or a clicker for dogs and horses to mark a wanted behavior.  It basically says "yes, that's it!"  The sound is followed by a reward.  The reward reinforces the behavior - it causes the animal to want to do it more in order to get a reward. 

If you are a believer in  traditional horse training all this sounds very alien and against common training methods.  I thought that way too, at first, but I have since changed my mind.  About 2 years ago I attended a Clinton Anderson clinic.  I was completely hooked on Clinton and his method.  For the record, his method is basically traditional, as is any training under the header "natural horsemanship".  The methods used, some more harsh or gentle than others, are all basically the same.  Ask the horse to do something (say, move its hip over) and when it doesn't respond increase the pressure.  If you use a finger to move the horse's hip you press harder.  If you use a "stick" of some type, tap and then tap harder.  And harder. According to Clinton, the "reward" is removing the pressure.  In other words, you stop "tapping", pushing, prodding and whacking. 

Clinton is VERY good at what he does.  His timing is perfect and he can minimize the use of whacking by being very judicious with it.  When you watch him it appears that he really isn't being so terrible because he does it fast and gets a response.  When I went home from the clinic I immediately began to work with all my horses using things I had learned at the clinic (actually it was one of those mass marketing deals where you watch him train horses, not something I participated in with my own horse). 

Two of my horses, Angel and Snickers, were 9 and 11 respectively when we bought them and they knew very little. I immediately began trying things out on them and will never forget the look on Angel's face when I whacked her really hard on the neck for the fourth time.  I got NO response except a very hurt and surprised look from her.  She never moved away from the pressure, instead she got angry at me.  Let me say that I truly believe that if Clinton did the same exercise with my horse he could have gotten her to move over no problem - I know my faults. 

I didn't like the tapping really hard part and although I tried my best I think my doubt crept in.  I know Clinton's methods work because I can see him succeeding.  I am also not critical of him because had I been in his shoes when I was young and had the chance to learn those things I would have done it and I would be giving clinics all over creation.  He is teaching what he knows and he is really good at it.  I still admire him, but I choose what I think is a better and easier way to train a horse.

Clicker training is better because you are communicating with your horse by saying "yes" and that is very powerful.  Using the traditional method you are basically saying "no" - think about it...  So all you are telling them is "no, NOT THAT!"  It has the potential to create a lot of confusion.  "If not that, then what should I do?" I imagine them saying.  Yes, Clinton does give the animal a scratch and says "good boy" occasionally.
But is a scratch on the head a true reward?  Is it enough to keep them wanting to do more?

When I tried clicker training for the first time it was miraculous to me.  Things that I had tried and tried to train suddenly became very easy.  For example, Snickers was very head shy when we got him.  I had worked with him some to lower his head but the "reward" of letting go of the rope when he lowered his head didn't really entice him to want to do it.  Older horses are always more difficult.  So the first thing I did with the clicker was teach him to lower his head.  It was wonderful!  He wanted to do it more, and he followed me around after wanting more training! 

Since then I have taught three foals all kinds of things, and worked with about ten other horses on various things that they have a problem with. My horse Bella, a mustang, is extremely head shy.  I have worked diligently and extensively over the years to get her over this.  It always takes weeks and lots of patience and in the end she tolerates it. Then, just when I think I've gotten her over it she explodes and I have to start over again.  I still can't put the reins over her head.  So I began using the clicker to get the reins over her head.  In one 5 minute session she stopped throwing her head away from my hand (she can does this violently) and actually relaxed and let me bring the reins up to her ears.  For the first time she lowered her head willingly and by herself while I lifted the reins near her ears.  I will keep you posted on the progress of this. I also hope to use it to get her in the trailer...

Although it takes timing and patience just like traditional training does, using a clicker is generally a much easier to train.  I also find it safer, calmer and the results come so much faster.  The horse tends to remember the training, even if it was brief, because using this method activates the part of the brain called the "seeking circuit" which is a pleasure center.  Certain types of activity activate this brain function and the memory of it stays there for a long time. It works similarly to the fear circuit, in which things that scare an animal stay in memory for a long time. 

Using traditional training methods I would end up fighting with my horses, trying to be the tough one, showing them I was boss.  I'm not saying I was good at it.  I wasn't. I am good at clicker training and the results say it all.  Snickers and Angel and actually all my horses have come so far in a short time without the rodeo.  I don't feel bad for what I have to do, I enjoy it more.  Now when I go out to the pasture to get a horse to train they all come running up to me, eager.  I now train on a first come, first serve basis!  

Tomorrow the vet comes to put down Bj, my 27 year-old appendix quarter horse.  I got him for free from a man named Perry Schrader.  He was one of the last two horses in Perry's polo horse string.  This was about ten years ago.  He had streams of dried diarrhea all over his hind end and looked terrible.  A friend of mine had ridden him a few weeks earlier and said that he was still sound and rideable, so I agreed to take him. 

He became my lesson horse, although he could be challenging to those who thought they knew it all.  Often kind and gentle with kids but a handful when ridden out on trail rides.  Once I went on a trail ride with two of my friends and we ended up in a budding housing subdivision.  The land had been worked over into smooth perfect home sites but no concrete marred the surface.  It begged for speed and Bj could barely contain himself.  At times his polo-pony past came back and he would just want to run.  So I opened him up, let him have free rein and he took off, passing both of the other, younger horses.  His long legs, plagued by arthritis, were stiff but still propelled us forward.  Once he began to move it was difficult to stop so we ran and  ran.  Finally I slowed him down but he seemed barely tired. 

I have to write this today because tomorrow I will be too sad.  Better to remember him now, while he is still out there grazing.  The thing is, this is the first of my horses to go.  I have been witness to the passing of many other horses over the years, and while working at the ranch we seemed to put down one a year.  Four horses were put down in my time there, all elderly and at the end of their life.  Some horses I saw passed were only foals and those are the most difficult of all.  Still, they weren't mine and I didn't have to make the decision that it was time.

  Bj was old when I got him.  He was already retired in a large sense at 18 years.  About 6 years ago he started to get very thin and rough looking.  The vet told me he might not make it through the winter and to increase his grain, a LOT.  The change in food helped him and he gained weight and made it long past that winter though he always needed large amounts of grain to keep weight on.  For many years I would think, "be prepared, Cari, this could be it".  So I was mentally prepared to lose him many times but he never let me down.  




A few years back we moved to Rifle and his riding days tapered off.  He had a herd of two mares that he protected fiercly from the other gelding, Snickers.  Snickers also got two mares, so I deemed it fair.  We got him a blanket and every winter he was blanketed and warm.  He stopped moving so much or so fast. He rarely trotted any more.  But Bj has a spirit, kind of a cantankerous but humorous nature.  He liked to head butt people, hard. He nearly head-butted me into the water tank on one occasion. He would pull the reins out of your hands when you rode him by tossing his head irritatingly in the air. If you didn't bring his grain quickly enough, he banged on the gate and hollered, yes hollered at you.   

Bj also assumed the right to break into the grain room whenever feasable and he felt no guilt over it at all.  When I first got him, he was boarded at the home of my boss.  He managed to turn the knob of a door, got into the barn and ate half a garbage can of grain.  Oddly enough, he suffered no ill effects from this - no founder or colic.  Over the years he has managed to sneak in or break in to the garage where the grain is kept.  He has eaten gobs, tons of grain and made huge messes by slopping half-eaten grain all over.  Other horses, when caught in the act, would at least make an attempt to look abashed.  Not Bj.  He acted as if it were his God-given right to be in there helping himself to the grain. When I catch him in the act, he slowly turns his head and looks at me briefly, then goes back to eating.  You must halter him and drag him out, you can't hustle him out. He has never colicked and never foundered. 

Bj could be maddening at times, but looking back it was always funny.  The time I remember most clearly was a night I arrived home amidst an awful storm.  It was getting dark quickly and the wind started to pick up drastically as I pulled in the drive.  Thn it became hurricane force wind with balls of ice stinging your face.  I decided to go ahead and feed the horses thier grain and then see if I could get the hay to them in the wind.  I ran out with the bucket to the horses in the shelter.  Bj always got fed first, so I went to pour the grain in the feed tub.  He stuck his head down in it and flung it away from me. I tried again, and AGAIN he flung the feed tub away!  This was his way of saying I was taking too long, usually.  So I made a third attempt and he DID IT AGAIN!!  I shouted so loud it could be heard over the wind that was tearing through my coat, "BJ GODDAMN IT!  STOP!" All the other horses stepped way back from me, right out into the storm and Bj looked up, surprised. 

He also had the weird habit of using his nose to throw his feed tub around after being fed.  I was never really sure what it meant or why he did it. I used to think it was because I had started or stopped giving him something in his feed, but in reality he did it at what I thought were random times.

Then there was BJ and Zac.  Zac is Doug's son and when we first met I gave Zac riding lessons on Bj. We started in the round pen where Bj always behaved and things went well for the first few lessons.  Then Doug decided that he would like to take Zac on a trail ride, so they headed out without me to ride around the property.  Doug learned to ride on a ranch and I learned by taking many riding lessons.  Certain things had been pounded in to me, like "never ever go over a walk when on the homeward stretch on a trail ride".  I guess I assume that others who ride have had the same things pounded in to them, too.  Doug had never heard this, however, and so when they were nearly home, he began to trot his horse and immediately Bj took off with Zac taken unawares.  Poor Zac fell off and though he was only bruised, it shook his confidence.  It took me months to get him any confidence on horseback. 

Zac brushing BJ while Luna tries to get in on the actions

The funny thing was, this was the first time Bj seemed to feel bad about taking off on someone.  Certainly the teenage girls who rode him with such over-confidence never got such apology from him when he took off with them at a full gallop in the arena.  I can't explain it, but I knew that he felt bad and he really loved Zac.  Zac was kind of wary of him and never felt comfortable riding him again.  But Bj always had a soft spot for him. 

 

Look at Bj's eyes as he stands with Zac....

  


Bj leans in close to Zac like he never does with me!



Bj was a part of our family for so long it will be hard not to see him at the gate every morning and evening, waiting for his grain.  Our trips to the feed store were mainly for his grain which comprised almost his entire diet.  In the past few weeks he has had difficulty walking, his hind legs not capable of propelling him in a straight line.

A few months ago I had a dream that Bj was standing in the back of a truck, covered in sweat and shaking.  I woke up and went outside and he was standing at the far end of the pasture, covered in sweat and shaking and not standing by his feed bowl.  When I went out to him I saw that he had been attacked, probably by "Angel", who is not always an angel.  She had kicked him all over, taking off peices of hide as high as his head.  I led him back up and fed him, but he wouldn't eat.  I had to move Angel and never trusted her with him again.  Then again, he may have started it and couldn't finish.  In any case, I think she may have fractured his leg and this may be what is causing his walking problems now.  We couldn't afford to have x-rays taken to find out, nor could we afford to do anything to fix it, not for such an old horse. 

Today, the day before the vet comes, two strange things happened.  The first thing was that Bj, who was grazing out in the yard with the other horses, came up on the back patio.  He has never done that before.  I went out and found him shivering, so I got his blanket and then Zac and I groomed him.  He let us love on him and clean him up.  Bella happened around the corner, saw us and then left again, as if to leave us alone. 

Then all the horses went back out to the pond pasture to graze.  They stayed out there all afternoon.  When it came time to feed,  normally Bj would be at the garage waiting for his food, but he was out by the pond. Zac called him and so did I but he wouldn't come in.  We went out and tried to get him to come up and he wouldn't budge.  I fed the other horses and Bella wouldn't eat her grain, either. This is very unusual as they both love thier grain.  Doug came out and tried to get him to walk and finally brought his grain out to him but he wouldn't eat. The really weird thing about all of this is that I had planned to have him put down in the pond pasture.  I feel like he knows what will happen and has accepted it.  I went out later and took some more pictures of him and said goodbye.  I am not sure if he will be alive in the morning, which is strange to say.  The past day or so he has acted as if he knew what I had planned and was prepared for it.  In a way it makes it easier to take, knowing that it is really time and he agrees with that. 

Bj in the pasture on his last night.  He wouldn't leave this pasture.

Oh Bj, you will be missed old man!  You have heart, and love to run.  You like to be noticed and you like causing trouble, as if this is your job here at the ranch.  You love your mares and you love your little boy.  I hope you love your "parents", too.  I am glad that somehow I have managed to keep you all this time, to make the end of your life easy.  It is time to say goodbye.  We will always love you and miss you!